I have been tossed back and forth between anxiety, grief, anger and depression for the past few weeks. Feeling unstable and stable at the same time.... I also talk about the time that Christ will come back on Earth.

Feeling unstable and stable at the same time

As I describe in my article Rock-solid memories, last week I was grieving a lot over the fact that my sister had been disappointed with me in her life. I had trouble disappointing others anyway, but I hated it when my sister was angry with me. After all, in my eyes, I was that little dude who had driven her to such an appalling rage that she was repeatedly slapped in the face by my father. Her brain was dead then, as she more or less described it herself. And I apologized at the time, but felt 100% responsible for this, upon which my own anger toward her became constricted in the past (just as it was constricted toward my father and mother, and I could therefore not develop a separate identity from my sister and mother, something that was, after all, dealt with extensively in clinical therapy in 2003-2004 (see Section 1 of my story). So last week I felt again the disappointment my original sister had toward me, and it saddened me greatly. I also felt my own helplessness that my original family was apparently “not good enough” in the eyes of the Antichrist entities to continue to live, something I can’t get my head around. Because we are talking about human lives here. You can’t just end those and replace them with other entities, as has happened, who act the personality of your original family members, but actually react to you very differently, and always react just so that it advances you. That is so immoral and cannot be fathomed!

Anyway, I had lived through the grief all over again last week, as usual, but it brought me to the anger I had towards my sister as well. Which on the one hand makes me feel incredibly bad about myself, but on the other hand makes me feel a little more complete. And I feel confident that the taken over version of my sister can handle it now. I would have caused my original sister much grief with this, with the danger present of destroying her further and further, which in turn was a consequence of her trauma to my father. But my taken over sister only defended herself, insisting that she was right. Which is fine with me!

This fight happened on a bike ride together with her, on my parents’ old bikes. I cycled with my hands loose, on the bike that my father had still to trade in for his new bike, and so nothing should happen to it. My sister thought this was irresponsible and rubbed it in, even though nothing was wrong. That made me so angry, because my father and my sister often gave me the impression that they think their material things are more important than I am. So my sister once again painted me as “the wrecker,” even before anything had happened, the result of her catastrophic interpretations. And it hit something, and that made me seething. So I inflamed, and finally yelled for her to shut up and that I really felt like slamming that bike to the ground, because it really does feel like I’m being put in a prison and portrayed as incapable. Anyway, with that bike ride, there was an earlier moment when I thought, why aren’t you listening to me, and why are you being so unkind? If something happens once, I shut up. If something like that happens a second time, I become aware of it. But then if something like that happens for a third time, I inflame. In the clinical therapy I had, they called that “saving coupons,” and there was still a chance that you would turn in your coupons to the wrong person, and you would inflame into an unreasonably big rage that didn’t fit the situation. And the annoying thing about that is that you both keep a negative feeling about yourself and the other person, at least, that’s how it went my whole life with me and my original sister. So after that, I felt somewhat guilty! Although I did have the confidence that she could handle it now. Anyway, it brought me back to grief. Because every time I get angry, you can bet your ass that grief comes after that.

Another thing that happened was the following: yesterday I received a very scathing email from someone who had read an article of mine, expressing my suspicions that “someone” had been taken over. I won’t mention this taken over person’s name, because then I might throw more oil on the fire. So the person who sent me that email tried to defend this person, and ignited in anger. And of course I was completely wrong, according to him/her, because I don’t know this person at all, and more of that nonsense. And nonsense it is, ‘cause it’s by maintaining distance to people, that you can form an independent opinion about them. Something else this person said was how I could have such a harsh judgment about such a young person? Sheer gaslighting it was again. Because I’m not being harsh for the sake of being harsh. If you are able to sign on for fame and glory at that young age, you should also be able to deal with the other side. Then you shouldn’t come whining to me. In that regard, I stand up for the original person, who they cold-bloodedly ended the life of, not for that clone who took over that person. That’s why I’m harsh. There is a reason why there are artists who give hints that they have sold their souls to the devil. This happens en masse when artists sign record contracts, and always unknowingly of what the consequences are! Disgusting that such a thing is possible on this world! But if you are aware of this, suddenly everything becomes incredibly transparent.
I smelled the idealization/devaluation complex of the person who furiously approached me from miles away. They are squirming dragons. You notice immediately that they cannot be trusted, because they squirm when you address them and talk idealized about people using a very negative energy, as if there is nothing wrong with some people, and everything wrong with other people, which of course is not true. Because when all is said and done, there is something to be said about everyone, including the people you love, which is exactly what I am trying to show. So out of anger, I sent back exactly the same kind of mail he/she sent. Because they are good at holding the mirror up to me, but I should hold the mirror up to them as well. However, after that I am just fighting inside myself. Then I feel very unsafe, until a discharge comes and I am brought back to my sadness. I always say: I don’t really want to fight with anyone, but if you try to bring the hidden into the open, you make yourself a target of all kinds of abuse anyway. But you can use this to become stronger yourself. And I hope it doesn’t throw me off course too much. But if one message already upsets me so much, I clearly have a vulnerability. Anyway, I already knew that!

Another thing I would like to bring to your attention is that in my surroundings, many people are having strokes with loss of function symptoms. I have already seen it in 5 people in my immediate area. What they all have in common is that they are probably all taken over. So I suspect that it is a kind of aversive reaction to when another spirit enters the body. This spirit then does not get good control of all parts of the body. Sometimes people die when being taken over, often they survive, sometimes they suffer damage. Taking over people can also cause illness. In some people it is only a severe flu, as I saw with my parents when they were taken over. A logical consequence of the mind having to get used to the new body. And in some people, it takes the form of strokes, and epilepsy, and thus loss of function symptoms. Sometimes permanent, sometimes recurring. It’s sad on the one hand that they experience this, but if these Antichrist entities themselves choose to take over someone, then the consequences are also for them. In that respect, I have no pity. But of course you don’t say that to them when they are so diligently playing their role.

So basically for the past few weeks I have been feeling unstable and stable at the same time. On the one hand, I feel much stronger and also dare to express my anger to these entities to some extent, but on the other hand, I am tossed back and forth between anxiety, grief, anger and depression. It’s driving me crazy. This also makes me very tired at the same time, with a head full of cotton wool, and incredibly preoccupied with myself, for which I really must excuse myself, I guess. I also sleep a lot, which is a way to suppress the pent-up anger that has nowhere to go. Just now I was startled awake again by a vibration in my chest, exactly as I described in my article Jokesters or monsters? As if there was a phone inside my body, vibrating like crazy, trying to wake me up. And it really wasn’t my phone. This time I took it as my guardian angels saying, “Get to work, Jesse!” And that’s exactly what I’m doing, even though I feel quite battered!

It’s pretty clear now that the Antichrist entities, after having structurally supported me for some time by having all kinds of people acting positive towards me, are now going to structurally introduce me to the other side: when people become very angry for the words and phrases I put after each other! It is so obvious! It is after Lucifer-in-Antichrist, which is a supporting (expansive) influence in the Antichrist influence of taken over people I face, now the Satan-in-Antichrist influence, which is a counteracting (compressive) influence in the Antichrist influence of taken over people I face. Unfortunately, this will not be the end of it, because the Antichrist-in-Antichrist influence is still an even bigger step stronger. That’s when the taken over people you face start threatening you lethally. Let’s see if I will be able to keep producing then, because that’s what they expect you to do, and that’s what I want. My prediction is that I will have long since perished before this time, because I am actually at the edge of what I can tolerate now. All Christ-activated people worldwide are at the same stage, I suspect. And so the moment that these personifications of the Christ-figure, when after first being encouraged for a time, now begin to face opposition, will be the moment that they begin to publicly defend themselves. That is the moment when, having worked on their foundation of works for the past few years, they will really come out and express their rightful anger. But it’s probably not going to work for me, unfortunately.

Then looking at this video, we see that there has been a lot of predictive programming in TV series and movies about next Friday, Sept. 23 and next Saturday, Sept. 24. Every year we see this around March 23 and September 23, but this time there is also specific reference to this year 2022. Will it be accompanied by major disasters? Will they flood everything? Yet, we must remember what the Bible says, about the day that Christ will return, “But that day and hour is not known to anyone, not even to the angels in heaven, but only to My Father.” (Matthew 24:36). So it may not be that time yet, but I am sure that every day we get one step closer to this moment, whether I will still be present or not….

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