This article describes some things that have happened recently. A lot goes wrong, but I DO dare more and more to be myself!

An update from my side

A month has passed again! Time for an update from my side. I’ve been busy, but not with what I consider my responsibilities, at least not directly, only indirectly. But I haven’t actually produced anything! Me having the guts to do that even is unbelievable, but nothing of what I could possibly share, came to mind and I don’t know enough about many things that happen in the news. It’s something I’m not very good in. But I can tell the news coverage about the war in Ukraine is very one-sided and pro-Ukraine! Everyone in the media is participating in it. Horrible! Putin is the new Hitler, according to them! While Putin views the Satanic NATO advancing and surrounding all the countries in that area as the very danger! Conversely, Russia does not have surrounded the NATO countries, so who is actually threatening whom!? Putin has to defend his people. It is dangerous to divide the two sides into one good and one evil side, because they are both evil! But those who want to silence evil are themselves even a level more evil. And then I really do look at the general Western tendency to accuse Russia and Putin of all kinds of things and to present themselves as Angels of Light, which is absolutely a cruel distortion of the truth. I’ll keep saying it: a loving connection with your opposition is essential!

Anyway, back to what I’ve been doing lately. Of course, I’ve often said that you have to produce to keep the Antichrist entities at bay, but maybe, who knows, I’m already one step ahead in overcoming these entities, and they are no longer a danger to me, perhaps because I’m not a danger to them either. I’m pretty close to my anger right now. It feels like everything around me is going wrong, both the things I do, and the things the people around me do. And then I’m easily tempted to think that the taken over people around me want to get me angry on purpose so that I can then overcome my fear to express it. But then I’m thinking that maybe it’s more symbolic that everything goes wrong, because even things that can’t be coordinated by these entities fail. For example, something very small was that a hot dog from the supermarket did not come with one bag of mustard and one bag of ketchup as it said on the package, but two bags of mustard. Normally something you would hardly notice, but the days are full of these kinds of things lately. It’s very common that such small things go wrong. Nothing works, as it should! Everyone, including me, is failing in all kinds of things. And I feel I don’t get help from anyone, although that’s not entirely true. It feels like I have to do everything on my own. And I have lost everyone! And that regularly breaks me down. I am regularly on the verge of overstrain, and this while I’m not doing anything at all! I don’t work! I don’t have day care! I am also afraid that I have allowed myself to be corrupted and that I am no longer pure in my perception, feeling, thinking or acting. And that that is the reason these Antichrist entities leave me alone! Although I’m not entirely sure about that either. I’m just not quite sure where I stand. I am fortunate to be able to catch my breath on a regular basis. But just when I was feeling guilty about doing nothing, in the middle of all these technological videos YouTube was recommending to me, after I had been learning from all these videos for several weeks, I suddenly saw a music video by Shania Twain: ‘You’re still the one!’ And yes, after being quite frustrated for the past week, that was another moment of release, which thankfully calmed me down. It’s actually a love song, but the title came at exactly the right time. In The Matrix films, Neo is ‘The One’ (it’s also an anagram of his name) and the task Neo performs is symbolic of the Christ figure, albeit in a heavily dramatized and technological guise! The fact that in the middle of the computer videos there is suddenly a totally unrelated music video with this title, while I never listen to anything by Shania Twain, is for me another example that God communicates with me in this way and that He reassures me with these words! ‘You’re still the One’, even though the contents of the song don’t really have anything to do with it.

What I’ve been working on for the last few weeks is moving my own website and a friend’s website to a different hosting provider. On my website I link to a lot of videos and I had put all these videos on my hosting space. Unlimited space I had, they said at the hosting company. But alas, over that came a fair use policy with limits for storage and bandwidth, very crazy, because if you advertise unlimited storage space, you shouldn’t suddenly start taking that back with a different policy. Now I still hadn’t at all reached the fair use limits so I thought I was completely safe. Until I received a message from the hosting company in which they pointed out an extra clause in the fair use policy that you are not allowed to use the hosting for storing large amounts of photos and videos if it is not essential for your site. Now, we had different opinions on that. But only in the case of a webshop it would be allowed because then it would be essential but not in my case, according to them. And yet all the videos I saved, are linked to in one or more articles. In short: you have unlimited storage but only if your website is text only! Well, you don’t need unlimited storage for that. Another clear case of misleading marketing. Moreover, you can’t call the company Vimexx to take responsibility for this because contact is only possible through tickets. It takes all day before you get an answer (premium support they call it) and every time your response is handled by someone else. This way nobody really takes responsibility and you can’t call anyone to account for things that go wrong, something many companies do!

I now host my websites at another company on a VPS, a Virtual Private Server. There I do decide for myself how to use the storage space. It’s a bit more expensive, but you pay per hour or per month after you used it, not, as with Vimexx, for at least three months to a year in advance! What a nasty business model that is. My services with Vimexx are paid for several months in advance and don’t think I will be compensated now that I can no longer use their product. Blegh!

Another example of things going wrong is that the lamp of the shared shed (which I share with my neighbours) here is broken. For almost three months now!!! I’ve been on the phone to the housing association several times and each time they commission a company that doesn’t take time and agreements seriously. The first time I got a call from that company saying everyone was sick and they would email me. Then it remained silent for a few weeks. Then I called again and was told that the company had let them know of having solved the problem but that the gentleman from the housing association would follow up on it and make sure it was true. Then it remained silent again. When I called again a few weeks later, I was told that the company had been there and that they had fixed the lamp. I said that was not true at all and asked irritated if the woman of the housing association sometimes doubted my words? Because she did. I was then told that she didn’t like that. And yes, then you’ve done it to me. I spent the rest of the interview snarling like a lunatic. She would call the company and she did, while I waited. Then she said that the company already had done their job, which was a total lie from this company. And I said that to this lady from the housing association, to which she said, “Mr. Musson, I’m not going to argue!” And yes, by then she had done it again and I spent the rest of the conversation yelling at her. What incompetence! Or there are taken over people there and they do it on purpose so I learn to handle my own business and express my anger. Because Antichrist entities, who are taken over, are cooperating with the mental health treatment center at all times! Anyway, the lamp has finally been fixed, after three months.

My plans for the coming time are definitely to record some more audio trac ks, so that my articles keep that extra dimension. Now that I have my laptop back (it was under repair for a few weeks) I can do that again. I don’t know if people listen to my audio-tracks but I always find it worthwhile to listen to them again! And as far as other things concerned, I’m really reaching my limits! I notice that I want to satisfy less and less all kinds of demands and things I impose on myself, but that there is more and more room to just be myself, something I have looked down on for a long time. Because working on yourself can be good, but there will also come a time when you will feel your limits. You mustn’t destroy yourself with all kinds of unrealistic demands. You mustn’t ask the impossible of yourself! I feel worse than ever, but on the other hand there is also a good part! But I do take bad care of myself and I find it very difficult to put positive energy into myself. That part is completely broken unfortunately. I’m unable to grow psychologically and I really miss that! Despite that, I do dare to be myself more and more, in all my imperfection, and in my whole psychologically handicapped state! I can think of happier things (and times!), but at least it is something, from which I can say that I have achieved it, by my own efforts…

Another article will follow, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow!

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