This article describes why nobody is born with a sexual identity, unlike most people seem to think.
No one is born with a sexual identity

I need to get something off my chest! And that is the way we deal with homosexual people (by which I also mean lesbian women) in the West. There is a lot of violence towards homosexuals, and the hive-minded part of the population thinks that we should embrace homosexuals only with love, as a compensation for the hate they endure and even encourage it. “Oh dear homosexuals, I will embrace you and not criticize you. With me, you’re safe!” (You see this predominantly with progressive or liberal people, who have the same attitude to other minority groups). All well, it seems that we all have to explicitly condone what people do between the sheets, even when there is no higher purpose behind it. And many parents behave the same way to their own adolescent children. If you say that you are critical of the behavior of some people, you will be brought back to the fold by the thought-police, because you aren’t allowed to think such thoughts at all! We’re all modern people, after all! But why should I give endless approval to what people do between the sheets? It is your job as a parent to raise your child with morals, and to keep the reins tight so that they can counter and ultimately go their own ways. And I wouldn’t have the conviction that they’ll listen to me in that. Apart from that, my son or daughter absolutely doesn’t need my permission for every sexual act they do. If they think they should act according to their homosexual feelings, they make their own decision about that, but they don’t need my permission. But it would be my task to teach them morals. I think it’s ridiculous that as a world, we have to like every facet of people’s sexual behavior and even encourage homosexuality in children. Cause is there really a free choice with which gender you procreate? No, there isn’t. Only in a few generations will people see the consequences of encouraging this behavior. Because as I said, there is a large behavioral component. And if my child were homosexual, I would ask myself as a parent: “What have I done wrong?” Anyway, I would mind if they aren’t able to reproduce, even if they don’t want to. I would see it as my failure. Cause there’s this constant story, that you’re sexuality is written in stone already at birth, and that due to the freedom in the West that people did not have before, everyone can happily be their authentic self they were born with. It’s just not true.

Children need a mother and a father so that they can learn to attach to both genders. The first years of a human life are essential for the development of sexual identity. That nonsense they want you to believe: that you’re born with it, is absolutely ridiculous. At birth, a child does not yet have a social interpretation of its identity. It is for example when a boy cannot (or may not) let go of his mother, or has a problematic bond with his father that things go wrong. At some point boys have to let go of the mother and mingle with other men, so that they can direct their feelings towards women and feel like men. With lesbian girls it’s a bit different: she can be, for example, forced to let go of the mother too soon, or she identifies mainly with the father, in order to be able to cope with his anger. Of course there are a lot of other combinations to come up with. Everyone has a different story, but most people don’t know themselves that way at all. No, “you’re born with it” they say, afraid to consider at all that their parents’ behaviour has something to do with it. Therefore, I am not necessarily against therapies that change sexual identity, provided that it strengthens the identity. A therapy aimed purely at conversion should not be the main aim, although I am not against it if it is voluntary.

Living through the anger one has to one’s own parent figures can be very healing and also makes you less afraid of the possible disapproving reaction, because there’s a group of homosexuals who are very afraid of their sexuality being disapproved of. What they are afraid of is disapproval, and let that be precisely the behavior that created their sexuality. And it’s important that they learn to deal with that. You can’t force the whole world to like your behavior. And you don’t have to care about that at all. But maybe mankind first has to go all the way to the other end (loving it and encouraging it), before learning it actually is allowed to be critical of some behaviors (as you can criticize any behavior or opinion (including mine); no one is above criticism).

Furthermore, and this also applies to heterosexuals: if you think you can have a satisfying life through hookup culture with no function other than responding to your lusts or relieving your grief, then you have to ask yourself where those needs come from. Nowadays we all want to be ‘ourselves’ so badly, but I find that very childish. Who is ‘yourself’? Are those all the opinions of others that have ever been expressed about you? Or is there a core of self-love that needs to be nurtured in order to become strong? I think the latter, but that doesn’t lie in everyone accepting your specific sexual desires and acting on them (also applies to heterosexuals), but in making you aware of why you have these desires, and in making you aware of the feelings behind them. And encouraging all kinds of volatile contacts without any connection is also problematic, although this is just as true for heterosexuals.

Sometimes people say: “you suppress your homosexuality”, but could it also be that someone suppresses his heterosexuality, for reasons deeper than ‘what society thinks of it’? When you say someone is suppressing their homosexuality, don’t you automatically want to push them in a direction they don’t want? As if it’s something you have to confront someone with and which you have to force on them, against their will. If that’s the case, someone (usually the parent figures) has already gone way over the line with that person in the past, when they were angry with the child. Then let’s all be aware of that, instead of forcing people to be homosexual. There’s a kind of condescension in it. It’s fun to say to someone, “Hahahaha, you’re really gay!” And “the ones who are hardest on gays, they’re the biggest!” I’ve said things like that to people, and I enjoyed saying them. You don’t realize at that moment how you’re demeaning and demasculating the other at a sometimes sensitive stage. Also lesbian women are good at this, because they themselves deny the spiritual head of the family: the Father. 

Some people say: “You decide for yourself who you direct your feelings towards and in the ideal case you do so consciously! And on the other side there are people who say, “You can’t help it if you fall in love with someone. It just happens to you.” I’ve even heard people say, “It’s against your will! You can’t help it!” But how awful it seems to me to be such a slave to your feelings and needs. Nothing fun about it. And I believe that you decide for yourself who you direct your feelings towards, free of old baggage, and that ideally your thoughts, feelings and actions are in line with each other. Now, most people have a big bag of problems at the age of 18, and they are by no means completely free inside. But you can work towards that. Only when you no longer identify with your orientation, you can say that you are free. And then you can allow others to think critically of it, which applies to all behaviour by the way!

And then transgenders? Surely, people are born with that? No, this is also learned behaviour. From survival, these people have accidentally learned that it is better to be the opposite sex physically, sometimes because that insures them of more love, and sometimes because that makes them feel armed against others’ aggression. It is often to find out exactly how it originated, but that does not mean that it is impossible. The brain develops under the influence of these situations, i.e. in interaction with the environment. Often there is also a psychotic disorder, though that doesn’t mean the feelings are not real, because they are just as real as the feelings of non-transgender people. It is the task of parents in the upbringing to make your child’s behaviour match reality as much as possible, so suggesting that your child can choose his or her own gender, as some parents do, is very bad. And that stating the sex of the child at birth would be ‘oppressive’ in any way is nonsense! As a parent, you have to teach your child to deal with reality. And that includes in the first many years that you give your child as much self-love as possible for his real gender. And that is a black and white matter. Only later do you start making demands on the child and it all becomes a little less black and white.

The deliberate blurring of the classic gender roles does not do any good either, although it does result in a diversity of expressions. But it also greatly reduces the chance of finding a partner that suits you. Unless you want it to be a freak show of moral decay, in which no one understands their role anymore, and everyone walks around like a chicken without a head in search of the love they’ve missed so much, but are never going to find. My God, the Western world has lost its way. From the age of 20 to the age of 35, fucking around to soothe your anger, grief or lust, and then not being able to find anyone after that, that’s kind of the story of a lot of Western people. How can you be deceived like that? In this respect, the Christian and conservative youth often take a different approach. It’s always a bit looked down on in the media, but I think the long-term thinking is quite clever, although I often have the idea that Christian youth don’t dare to discover the world at all by staying away from everything they think is ‘evil’. In that way, they miss the opportunity to integrate this side of themselves and work through these feelings! You can also learn to use your aggression for good, to empower yourself, and that is often not understood well.

Every human being has typical male and typical female characteristics, but that is about the inside, and has nothing to do with mixing a typical male appearance with a typical female appearance, as the media wants you to portray with all those examples of androgyny, gender neutrality, gender fluidity, women with beards and so on. But come on, it’s going to be an outright freak show, in which everyone finds their own unique outer expression, but doesn’t differentiate themselves in terms of character, and doesn’t actually add anything, compared to the rest. It’s going to be a very diverse uniformity, and has nothing to do with what people actually stand for: real content on the inside. And also the pride that goes with it. When I see the Gay Pride on TV again, I wonder exactly what people are proud of, and why they want to shove that down my throat. Pure compensation behavior. If sexual orientation is something you don’t choose (because that’s what they always say), why on earth would you be so proud of it? It’s misplaced. And very vulgar. What it doesn’t at least help against is the violence against gays. And of course it’s important that this is stopped, but gays themselves have a role in that as well. When people play the victim and whine about acceptance and love when someone jokes about them, it doesn’t really make a very resilient impression. There are just a lot of sissies. It’s important for everyone (men and women) to be resilient, to be able to withstand criticism, and even disapproval. That is often quite a process. It’s confronting your fears, it’s confronting others, but it’s also confronting yourself. Only then can you continue to develop. I have my own story in that as well. Because I’m far from perfect and for years I’ve had to carry a big burden with my psychological problems, which also took place sexually and still do. I myself am in a huge prison emotionally, I have captured the blows to my personality mainly with my sexuality, in the sense that every little trauma made my sexual potency worse. It took a lot of grief to accept that, but I’ve let it go now.

And to all gays and lesbians who feel insulted or inferior after reading this article: stop identifying with your orientation. Or with your skin color, occupation, body size, political preference or whatever. Who you are is so much more than that! Only when we learn that, can we look at the world and each other with a critical eye without collapsing or becoming agressive. Then together we can usher in the coming millennium of the Holy Spirit, the Mother of matter, who is the mirror for the soul of man. And a new kind of freedom can be experienced…

posted on May 26, 2020
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