In this article I describe how I almost gave up this week, because for a moment I couldn't take it anymore. Fortunately, I am calm again now.

I almost gave up, this week

I wrote the text below when I was close to giving up this week. I was angry and nothing mattered anymore. Since then I have calmed down again, and regained new courage, especially thanks to my taken-over family, who clearly play the Luciferic (nurturing) role and are very supportive and encouraging. And that gives me new courage to go on, (even though I feel battered now) and makes me calm, and resigned to my fate, however it will turn out in the end. Read the article while keeping this in mind…

What does “giving up your life for Christ” mean? Does it mean, you will be saved by creating works? And you have to keep creating works like a slave, as if it is never enough? David Icke has written so many thick books, and his body was also taken over by the Antichrist entities. Was that when he took a break from writing? They must have taken over all his relatives and friends/acquaintances! Just like with me. I am aware of that! If I don’t put out 6 books + 12 one-hour videos every day, these entities will grab the people I’ve made aware of my story. I can’t bring myself to spread my story anymore, when I know they will track down, follow, and eventually take over the people who read it. I don’t want to keep telling my story if it keeps costing the lives of people around me. And then at the expense of all those people, get saved and promote to a better world? I don’t deserve that. And who even says that world will be better? I don’t know if I should be proud of promoting myself, when everyone around me has died. Someone I was talking to about “a possible end of the world” was talking about an alien ship picking up people, making the separation between people I described earlier in my article The Millennial Reign of Christ. She talked about them having technology on that ship that would allow you to stay young. The vibes I got from it were not good at all. I don’t want to be on a ship enslaved by aliens who want to stay young forever. This is not God’s intention. But maybe I should trust that God will put everyone in the right place, should the split take place. But I would have preferred to be able to protect all those people who have been taken over. I state in my articles that people who read my texts should follow me to bring out the truth. Everyone has their own responsibility in this. But actually I don’t want to play the game at all. Because it is an abject game. Every person you have taken life from deserved to live. You can really go to hell with your stupid game. You don’t play with people’s lives like that. You don’t. You people are sick! And I was better off without your so-called help! Who helps anyone by taking human lives? The same goes for the mental health services. Absolute lunatics! And pretending to help me, while they’re not. If I had felt better, I would have end the contact a long time ago, but I just can’t stand for myself well enough. I want so badly to integrate my shadow, but it has just completely disappeared. From a person with a huge shadow on the surface to a person who just loses his shadow completely. Horrible. Maybe I should just take my loss. But something inside me, still persists! They won’t get me, I won’t allow it!

And then I see all these self-righteous people on the Internet who share their knowledge, and are totally convinced that they are right. If only I had that certainty! A few years ago I was sure of myself, but layer by layer I’ve lost myself through these entities, and they’ve left me reeling. I am no longer sure of anything. I can only share what I come across in terms of information, but am so aware of all the options out there that I am no longer sure of anything and can no longer make claims to the truth. And then I’m watching all those people who keep telling me that they are saved, and the majority of people are going to hell! It’s certainly not me being jealous, because if I had any control over how I would become, I would not be so proud of such a survival of the fittest attitude, at the expense of all humanity. It’s so unfair. People didn’t create themselves. We all go through things that limit us. Whoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, it is sometimes said, will not enter therein (Mark 10:15). Most people interpret this differently, as in you must receive it LIKE a child, but of course it can also be interpreted, that you must receive it in the PERIOD of being a child. And that, of course, would be ridiculous. Because a child is completely dependent on its parents in this period, and parents are responsible for your blueprint, with all the limitations that may go with it. So if you didn’t receive it during your childhood, and therefore there is no hope for you later in life, then that is very unfair! That is probably why Christ says: “Suffer the little children to come unto me, and do not forbid them, …” (Mark 10:14)

Classic Christianity is a true death cult. It is patting yourself on the back, at the expense of the rest of humanity. Absolutely disgusting! And mankind must be punished for their sins? From whom did they learn these sins? Who got them to sin? Sometimes you do things wrong out of pure anger. But who got you so angry? Who didn’t listen to that anger? Who has beaten you up? Who has quelled it, ultimately causing it to backfire? Your very parents, you’re own blood! Important other people! Therapists, spiritual leaders, teachers and so on. All people who have things to learn, and are not yet perfect. But if mistakes have to be paid for with death, then there is something seriously wrong with this world. I don’t want to put all the responsibility on someone else, because ultimately you develop your own responsibility, but what if the responsibility lies with others for the mistakes that were made, and you were damaged at a time when you could not yet escape this… then you may have done everything to heal, but you still don’t heal, but die instead! Horrible! And so unjust!

And then those hypocritical demonic aliens who think they are the pinnacle of civilization. They look down on people as if they are evil, but never seem to look in the mirror themselves. They allow themselves things that they would never allow you to do. In fact, they can’t even handle criticism well. Then again they look down on you as if you were the evil one! While they themselves are. It is a very unequal relationship that you’re in then. And I forgive them every time, because I recognize that they have something to teach me. But when are they going to learn? I lost all my family and friends. Why? Because I was sometimes angry and do not dare to show myself equally everywhere, exactly as all those mistake-making people conditioned me, when I was dependent on them. It makes me furious! And so a lot of people are just dumped because there is no hope for them anymore. Control mechanisms of the matrix my ass. It’s just plain MURDER! They panicked as if they thought I could reach millions of people, proclaiming the things I know. Yeah totally! Jesse, the wimp from before who was full of shame and even nervous to say his own name.

Or maybe the problem was that I knew about these aliens? So then you are punished for knowing that information, the same information that I am spreading and that more people are now taking note of. Who are then being taken over. Because these aliens can view exactly, where the people are who know about them. I did see this confirmed with the grey alien who attacked me in my dreams, and when I knocked him off me, brought his bony finger to his mouth, “Sssssshhhhhttt!” Image. Do not talk about this. But let it just so happen that the mental health facility was going to encourage me to speak my mind about these deep things. So it seems, they work completely past each other, it’s really disgusting! But of course I have to try to see the higher perspective!

And yes, it seems that these entities want you to heed their threats. Tamely, meekly, obediently following all those arbitrary rules. Never rebelling. Never criticize. But that does feel like such a prison to me, that I just want to break out sometimes. I can’t exist within their boundaries and within their anger, and within their threats, because my aggression is fundamentally not allowed to exist. If your aggression is allowed to exist, you can give up resistance. But with me it’s not allowed, not even when I was a child, which makes the vulnerability and the suffering a lot more serious. So then you just resist at regular intervals, because you want to break free and you need more space than the average person. And they know that, but they don’t care. They kill lustily. That is his problem, they think, taking an unempathic attitude for how it came about, and it not being my fault, and this meaning that I do not have to pay for it. They apparently think I do. “It’s just a game, what we’re playing here. It’s just pain. It’s just death.” It’s maddening!

These entities are playing God. They may also have been appointed by God to threaten humanity so that it will eventually become stronger, and learn to deal with that evil influence. But the function they have, to ensure that people let go of their ego, is only possible if your aggression is allowed to exist, and if your ego is first sufficiently built up. It is justified that I’m resisting sometimes, when looking at the way it has been enforced in my home (read Section 1 of my story), and now the same shit happens to me every time I resist, as part of the treatment. And because of that, it hurts again and again. And to cushion that pain, my anger builds up again. Until I feel comfortable enough again and express it, and then they strike again. And I can’t be at peace with it all the time, because it hurts so much every time. Horrible. They are absolute torturers!

And I’m just sad. Sad that I can’t stop every death. Sad that I know all those deaths have to do with me. And that everyone will think that’s nonsense, and that I feel so little courage to argue with this. But I am very sure of my case, as far as this is concerned. As far as other things are concerned, I have a lot of doubt, but as far as this is concerned, I am very sure. It’s actually the only thing I’m sure of lately.

My biggest dream is to oppose these evil entities to the maximum and become infamous all over the world with my information, but I’ve been gagged and put in such a predicament that I can’t reach my goal and already can’t handle telling 10 people my story in real life. It’s not shame, it’s just purely feeling cut off ahead of time with a lot of aggression, which I can’t bear. And that makes perfect sense after they’ve just completely drained you over the past few years. They evoke exactly through their behavior, that which they don’t want to see in you. And if I say that, of course they are going to deliberately create such situations for me to become more insensitive, but that doesn’t help anyway, if in the process my fighting spirit is not released. That’s what happens in therapy when you’re challenged and try to change, you are going to feel the fighting spirit more, but not with me. Not anymore. But still they continue to treat me. Apparently I’m so incredibly dangerous when I’m not being treated, and apparently it always has to be instilled in me that I don’t have the last word in confrontations, for some reason. Just let me be! My suffering is getting worse and worse! And meanwhile, everyone around me is dying. They just keep going until I give up. And then they dump you by taking you over and then the gene pool is renewed again. Apparently you only have the right to live if you work for them like a slave and you are perfect inside. And when you are strong enough, they use you for their purposes for a while (just like they did with David Icke), and then they dump you again. Well, I wish you good luck killing imperfect people. Let’s see if the world will become perfect from that. As long as you guys are around, it certainly won’t become perfect, though of course you think you’re perfect. Hilarious! They’re sick games by sick creatures! And no one is aware that it is happening. The world is an incredible shithole full of misery thanks to these entities, because people are going to imitate them, which is logical if you expect they are leading by example and you get this shit instead. Sometimes I think: why do I still cooperate? First they make you completely broken, and then they expect you to play the hero in your totally broken and crippled state. Because “it’s your duty to do this, before we assimilate you…!!!” Ridiculous! At times, I don’t feel like cooperating anymore. Then let me die. Then let me be totally passive, and die, every life again. I don’t participate anymore! With nothing! Fuck them. All of them! Anything better than this! That’s what I’m thinking then.

And then I look at those 4 words: “anything better than this”. And then rethink it an extra time, because these entities know no boundaries. If you think of something that feels bad, they will think of something that feels even worse! So as far as that’s concerned, maybe I should be happy with what I have left, and just keep doing what I’m doing! So that’s what I’ll do.

Anyway, that’s how all the people who aren’t perfect enough will slowly perish, and the people who have perfectly achieved the Christ-state will eventually triumph. That I am not one of them, I have actually known for a long time. I try to hold out as long as I can, of course, but knowing that your death is probably just going to come, and probably in a very painful way, is really awful! But then I think of all the victims they have made around me, and then I think: you have also managed to let go of life! I feel one with you… And one day we will create a better world together. A world of love, and freedom, where responsibility still means something….

As you can read, I was quite upset when I wrote this piece, but fortunately I am calm again now. In two days time it will be Full Moon, and there will be a Lunar Eclipse, and then some tough weeks will follow for humanity, in which they will have to confront the tyrannical power that is now pouring out over the world. There are many oppositions in the positions of the Moon with the planets, so it will be very tough. I don’t believe in the planets as presented by NASA (that’s just CGI) and I don’t believe the Earth to be a spinning ball, but I do believe in the influence of these planets on the human spirit, if we assume them moving along certain fixed pathways. For a good video on the astrology of the Moon for the next two weeks, watch this one, from Roland Legrand’s YouTube channel. I got a lot out of it myself! And he gives excellent advice!

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