Among taken over people in my surroundings, a striking infant mortality is taking place. What could be behind this? And further, I talk about the undermining of my self-confidence, which is reoccurring while having been gone for so many years. These are old feelings.

On infant mortality and old feelings reoccurring

In a short time now, I have come across three cases of infant mortality among my taken over friends and acquaintances. The first case was a failed pregnancy, where the baby was seemingly left in a pot of formaldehyde for a few days so that the parents could say goodbye. The second case was a taken over friend, who had the baby live with them for a few days, after which it died, and the third case was on Facebook, a taken over schoolmate, who told publicly that she had lost a baby. So my question is, what is going on here? I have also seen successful pregnancies with taken over people. But still, what goes wrong in those cases that fail? It could be that the Antichrist powers that take over people are trying to take over the baby’s body in an unnatural way, and such a child may still be in too fragile a state, to successfully accomplish the transition. Then there is really obvious ill will behind it, because you should not intervene in nature in unnatural ways. Nature itself has mechanisms to regulate all that. It could also be a protective mechanism of God, to protect the babies in question from the taken over parents. It remains a hunch of course, but it is striking, that it suddenly occurs so much in my environment. And it cannot but have to do with the taken over state of the parents, or wanting to take over the baby, so that the original soul incarnated in it by Mother Nature is yanked out, and replaced by a dragon soul. As I mentioned in previous articles, they are adult dragon souls put into the bodies, and they presumably act out the development they are going through. Sounds insane, and it is!

Furthermore, after a couple of months when things were going pretty well, and I finally didn’t have so much anxiety, there came another moment when my energy couldn’t go anywhere, and that’s usually when I feel bounded, and I lose some of my strength again. This deterioration has been happening since my part-time therapy ended so badly. I had hoped for a long time that my self-confidence would hold up and I could really start to make myself heard, if I got a little stronger, but the longer I live, the further I deteriorate. Yes, I am still regressing, and last week was the moment when I took my self-confidence down a notch again. After years of losing confidence in others, the aggression that that evokes in me has come out in all sorts of ways for years, and the criticism I received for that, which the mental health system has been contributing to in full Satanic conviction, has been eating away at me for years and years. With each boundary, I became less confident, because the aggression is in my personality. That means that when I am myself, I am a big lump of aggression, which you obviously have to learn to handle, something they had already taught me in the first therapy I had, my clinical therapy, see Clinical treatment from Section 1 of my story. Unfortunately, they misjudged me after that, and controlled the aggression again in a follow-up therapy, see Part-time treatment, after which I became psychotic because of the pressure I was under there. My death warrant was signed, after which I thus deteriorated for years. But now it’s back to the point where I’m sometimes undermining my self-confidence again. For years I have heard from the Antichrist entities that have come to threaten me that you should be especially kind, and that aggression is bad, and this has always bothered me. I’ve pointed this out incredibly often, but they haven’t listened, and have continued to disapprove of my aggression, mainly because I keep throwing it into contact, being so conditioned in that wrong part-time follow-up therapy. So it couldn’t be any other way either. But now that causes me, after having completely lost confidence in others, to undermine my self-confidence again at times. When I look in the mirror, I feel like that measly little guy from back then, who is not allowed to be a man, looks like an alien in the mirror (not literally), and is nobody at all. I feel the aggression of those Antichrist entities directed at me before, and it completely destroys me. I feel the disappointment they have toward me, their lack of self-control, their unrelenting disapproval. They completely destroy me, wanting to force me to love them, which is present in my blueprint, according to how it happened in the relationship with my parents. In those moments I think that I am not going to survive it all, and that my life will soon be over. At such times I go to my taken over parents for support, upon which my taken over father indirectly threatens me trough hinting that it will be “end of the story” then, something that immediately makes me cringe. That would then mean that I probably won’t be able to rise again, even though it has been my greatest desire all along. Great injustice has been done to me, and any nitwit who thinks that doesn’t exist, and you can be unrestrictedly abusive to people, cause it somehow allows people to develop and to toughen up and mature; they can go fuck themselves. It is so terribly wrong, that I would wish upon them to live my life from beginning to end, until they repent of their evil beliefs. If that was the purpose of my life…, to repent of evil beliefs I may have displayed in previous lives, then that purpose has succeeded.

A special place in my heart, I hold for people who, like me, are so damaged, that it is justified, that their aggression is raised to their heads in a therapy. They usually know better than anyone else what it is like to grow up among monsters. And they also have a right to a better life. Even though these people will never have a perception of identity experienced from within, it is still better, than being completely destroyed by others’ evil acts. For the monsters who are in their aggression, while in no way covering any vulnerability with their aggression, I have no respect. They are cowards, and they will rightly have the wrath of God upon them, as I have unrightly had it upon me, in recent years.

Yet I am in a different place now than I was before all the therapies. I find that after I deteriorate, my confidence in myself and others keeps recovering. So then I can just see it as “old feelings. And in those moments I get hope that I can still rise somewhat. I saw this inspirational quote, Image pass by on Facebook: “Though you may hold your sword in a shaky hand, I see the demons you are slaying. Carry on, warrior. You are stronger than you realize!“. This little text does me an awful lot of good when I relate it to myself. Because it reinforces this hope that I will still rise up again, even though I feel more battered after each decline. I’m just waiting for the moment when I feel capable enough to handle contact and be able to discuss what I really want to discuss, cause in live contact I always adapt too much to the other person, and then I can’t tell what I want to tell, and show who I really am. A problem that has been present with me all my life, and which often caused other people to get a false opinion of me, and view me as the evil one.

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