This article is about the conclusion of my metaphysical quest for truth, and about some things that happened in my past.

Conclusion of my metaphysical quest for truth

Table of contents

Introduction 0:08
Flat Earth 4:27
Bible story 9:09
Aliens 10:29
Lucifer and Satan 13:01
Antichrist 16:06
My targeted status 17:17
Evil deeds of elite 26:56
Identity 29:02
Satanic people 31:15
My psychiatric past 35:38
E.U. and the New World Order 44:28
Consciousness 52:47
Reading material


When you ask random people on the street if they believe in God, they usually say, “yes”, “no”, or “I’m agnostic” i.e. I believe there is something, but I don’t know exactly what. You’ll never hear what kind of concept of a God they have. Is God a man high up in the sky who watches over the world and allows all malice and disease and why doesn’t he intervene? Most people accept that they don’t know, and just try to have a nice life. That’s what I was trying to do, but early in life I got big obstacles on my path, which made me think a little deeper about a lot of things and went through a whole journey of discovery to get answers to these and other questions. I’m not trying to prove anything in this text, because then I really have to work on this text some more, and there’s not enough time for that. I’m just trying to dump my conclusions, and it’s up to everyone to investigate for themselves.

Most people are very strict about what information they consider, and in this way they protect their small (often materialistic) world view. There also seems to be a general consensus about what is allowed to be thought of, and if you deviate from that, you will be put back in your place by whole crowds (mob rule). But I believe that reality is much greater than such a rigidly framed worldview, and it is precisely by going outside of this framework that you learn much more. But in order to do that, you have to dare to go beyond the boundaries of your own personality. The truth is very complex, and I keep learning every day. By taking everyone’s experiences seriously, you get a complete picture of what is possible. For example, there are people with near-death experiences, out-of-body experiences, people who have seen aliens, people who have seen elves, angels, the devil, God, Jesus, ghosts and so on. There are lots of things possible, but most people immediately refer most of this information to the trash can because they cannot understand it, integrate it, or because it simply does not correspond to their world view, which often consists mainly of parroting the status quo and of information from the media, education, family, and so on which they have been indoctrinated with throughout their lives. As if the world adapts to the ideas of the mainstream. If you believe this, then you have to admit that this is true in the eyes of your opposition as well, and they believe things that are diametrically opposed to your ideas. Who’s right? Maybe everyone? Or neither, maybe? I think that if you can transform extremes into a middle way in which you integrate both extreme points of view + this middle way, then you have got to know the world well. I believe that because of my psychiatric past I am able to do this. Because I have experienced different extreme states. I have learned to discover the world, both observing the outside world, by reading books, and by looking inside in my inner world.

God is definitely not a little man high up in the sky, with human traits. If so, then this is a false God, and not the primary God of this world. In my opinion, we exist in the spirit of God, and therefore God is everything that exists, everything that existed, and everything that will exist. We can discover God as well by looking inside ourselves. The discussion of materialists versus creationists is ridiculous, and in my opinion neither of them is right. This is because they refuse to listen to the opinion of their opposition, and they only ridicule their opposition. This is a reflection of their inner state. Both viewpoints are absurd.  I started to discover more and more and found out really everything that comes up in the mainstream is a lie, And I only came to different conclusions at the end of my search, so I’m going to fall right in with the biggest lie:

Flat Earth

The world we live in is not a spherical object spinning through space at great speed, but a kind of bubble in a kind of primordial water. There are many more of these bubbles (worlds) and they are all places where God gives free rein to his thoughts. You could say that our bubble contains several layers on top of each other, a central disk called Earth with a dome over it, and several other worlds enclosed in these layers. The planets are thus a physical representation in ‘space’ of real worlds present in the different layers around us. The space as it is shown in books is not as infinite as one thinks, but is limited to this bubble for that part we know. Man plays a central role in this bubble. Something very different from what most people think. Cause of course the earth is round, just like the sun and the moon and the planets, isn’t it? But anyone who seriously examines it with an open mind will find out that the ball earth is a total farce. In any case, NASA fools around with their Photoshop edited pictures, where they even hide dirty words in the clouds to mock their audience, and where certain unsympathetic actors (always the same ones) keep the usual talk and use arguments of authority to fool the audience. Anyone who thinks the ball earth is proven, hasn’t studied alternative cosmologies, or done any science, but has a blind faith in what Daddy and Mommy and supposedly smart scientists told him. Also the concept of ‘space’ as it is portrayed on TV and in books, does not exist, not in that way at least. And to everyone who now states: “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence” I pose: the claim of the round earth is extraordinary and the little evidence there is for that, is not enough to do justice to your own statement. While for a flat earth there is a lot of evidence (Read: Eric Dubay’s books), I admit: it’s a downright mindfuck to take that evidence seriously, just because we’re so inclined to ridicule it. Because people used to think the earth was flat, and we’re so smart now that we see that that’s wrong! No! Mankind is in a spiritual development, not a Darwinian development, and at this stage of mankind’s development it is time to descend fully into the material world, after we have already mastered the spiritual (Read: Bruce Lipton and Michael Tsarion), and for that to happen, another kind of truth must be upheld by the elite, so that man may feel that God does not exist, and we indeed live in a Darwinian universe with space and spheres spinning around each other, and spinning through space, and furthermore that matter is the only thing that exists. Well, I can tell you, they’re lies. Furthermore, man has a real alien history that goes far beyond what is known in the mainstream. Mankind is genetically engineered, at least the body, in the image and likeness of Yahweh? No, those who study the Bible find out that the God referred to there in Genesis is Lucifer, not Yahweh. In order to understand all of this, you need to read the Sumerian scriptures. And the stories of Enki and Enlil. I’ll come back to this later.

In the bubble in which we live, a kind of cosmic game is played. A cosmic game which generates victims, but these are sacrifices that ultimately serve the development of mankind. ‘Evil’ is ‘good’ that is administered in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is the task and role of the elite of this world to show mankind how they are NOT and how they should NOT behave. And it is the task of ordinary man to show their fellow men how they ARE (by holding up the proverbial mirror) and how they SHOULD behave (by setting an example).

So mankind is not in a Darwinian development but in a spiritual development. This spiritual development goes back many aeons, far beyond what is known in the mainstream. The history of mankind as we know it is a fraction of this whole development process. This spiritual path ultimately leads to perfect love, as this world also knew before the Fall under Yahweh (Jehovah) (the God of the Bible), but this is not that sweet warm fuzzy-wuzzy love that some people now think of, but strong love: love in action.

Bible story

Yahweh was an entity in this bubble that created the first human using genetic manipulation. Humans obeyed him. So he was a kind of God, though not the primary God as I described a few paragraphs ago. In order to boost the development of humans so that they could become independent of their creator, free will was needed and that was ultimately what was introduced by Lucifer who seduced Eve in paradise to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The capacity for evil was then born and man no longer listened to Yahweh, upon which Yahweh turned into the vengeful and jealous God one can find in the Bible. So Lucifer rebelled against Yahweh to set mankind free, and for that we should be grateful to him. In order to limit Lucifer’s influence and not let it go too far, a second evil influence was used, that of Satan, who acted as the police force of Yahweh, and freed man in another area of the mind. Satan is the karmic consequence of Lucifer’s effect on mankind, and ensures that Lucifer’s rebellion and self-love cannot go too far and a path can be taken back to Yahweh.


It seems from the Bible that Yahweh, Lucifer, Satan were real entities. Whether they were some kind of alien gods, I dare not say. Maybe we shouldn’t take this literally, and see the stories as a kind of allegories, a way to make abstract concepts understandable. What I do know is that the influences of Lucifer and Satan still work on man today. In our alien history there are 2 brothers, Enki and Enlil, about whom a lot has been written (read the books of Anton Parks and the Sumerian writings, and a lot of other books). Enki turns out to be Lucifer, and Enlil is Satan. These aliens call themselves dragons (the Reptilians about whom David Icke has written extensively, who clearly takes it literally, maybe he’s right), and would therefore look reptilian, but on two legs, even though they pretend to be humans by means of technology. I’ll tell more about the dragons later. Think of Castle Dragonstein/Drakensteyn and the Green Dragon, the castle and ship of our Dutch royal family. These dragon references are found all over the world, in art and buildings, but also in logos and symbols. For example the logo of Alfa Romeo, which is a dragon that devours a human being, something they actually do in the lower astral (spiritual) dimensions (they supposedly have restaurants where they serve human flesh). The elite venerate these aliens, who control the shadow governments and richest families in the world. Read David Icke – Children of the Matrix, and The Biggest Secret. Someone, probably from the Lucifer group (Abraxas from Thuban he called himself) made a big information dump on the Birth of Gaia forum years ago and I looked through all the pages, learning more about the dragons and discovering that they play a certain role in this world. To make the story understandable right now, I will talk about these aliens as if they are real. It’s not an exact science. There are a lot of people who have seen them, but I wouldn’t dare to say whether they speak the truth. It can also be a big psy op, to scare people, to encourage them to give away their power. Maybe it’s just allegorical.

Lucifer and Satan

The Lucifer group of aliens present on this world tries to make man grow spiritually, until they lose contact with the earth or material part of reality. And the Satan group of aliens is trying to shrink man until they lose contact with the spiritual part of reality. Sometimes it is said that there are only two emotions: love and fear. Love then is the expansive reaction to the Lucifer force and fear the compressive reaction to the Satan force. In other words, good and evil. But this way of looking at it is actually a bit weird, because both the extremes of good and evil are actually evil, but at the same time aren’t, since a human being needs both influences in his development, in a sort of transformed way then. Some people want to keep all evil outside of themselves, and thereby deny or suppress the evil part of the world: they mainly focus on positive things and think that everything can be solved with that, and they close their eyes to evil, and won’t recognize evil when it takes place. And some people want to keep all the good outside of themselves and deny or repress the good part of the world. Both forces can be transformed into the real good by not letting them go too far and balancing them in the body, by recognizing them for what they are, integrating them, seeing the gift in them and using them for the real good. With the spritual pole in the head, and the material pole in the legs. And in between, the heart with a healthy ego. This middle ground between the extremes is also called the esoteric Christ Consciousness. By extremes I mean: making yourself as big as Lucifer wants (blind disobedience), or making yourself as small as Satan wants (blind obedience). The story of Caïn and Abel in the Bible stands for two parts in man: a good part and a bad part. But the kingdom of Christ was not of this world, according to himself, and therefore has two good parts, i.e. he integrates and transforms both Lucifer and Satan into the really good! (So that is knowing when you do obey, and knowing when you disobey). So in other words: both hemispheres of the brain are limited and balanced. Both the left hemisphere which ‘sees’ the prey (Lucifer). As the right hemisphere which sees the predator (Satan). One stream works from the future to the past (Lucifer) and is the rejuvenating power. And the other stream works from the past to the future (Satan) and is the ageing power. The center is the present, and that is the heart. He who sees the consequences of his actions, has learned, and has long-term goals, has found the place for the ageing Power. The latter is not something that should be eliminated in an artificial way. Both forces are necessary.


There is a third evil influence that plays on man and that will cause a lot of evil in the future to accelerate the development of mankind towards perfect love, and that is the Antichrist. This should eventually cause the ego of man, developed by Lucifer and Satan, to be broken down and spiritualize the balanced Christ state, while maintaining its own independence and freedom. The Antichrist slowly takes everything away from the one on whom he has aimed his arrows. He starts by taking over acquaintances, and slowly he comes closer and closer depending on what you allow. To stop him, you have to spread Christ’s message and not allow what he does to the people around you, because if you do nothing, it will end with the death of these innocent people anyway, and in the end it’s your turn. So the Antichrist needs your indirect permission to take over innocent people. And at the beginning he clearly shows to whom that happens, by means of dragon symbolism, but if you let it all happen, he won’t be so clear anymore.

My targeted status

The three evil forces are there purely for your development. Lucifer and Satan can be overcome by listening to both yourself and the other (this must be a balance) so even if you or them are negative or when they are your opposition, but the Antichrist really kills people by droning them and is therefore a very serious threat on this world. With droning, the consciousness of the targeted person is taken over by an ‘entity’ of the Antichrist group. There are stories on the internet (read: Donald Marshall) about exactly how this happens, but I dare neither confirm nor disprove them. I simply don’t know. What I do know is that since I mentioned the word ‘aliens’ to my mental health practicioner, I am a targeted person, and they are slowly ‘taking over’ more and more people in my environment by droning them. They started with people I used to be friends with, and are getting closer and closer. A number of my neighbours have also been taken over in this way. And now they start with my co-workers. I haven’t done anything about that for too long, because I don’t feel ‘other people’ enough in my head because of the damage to that part of my personality, and didn’t have the guts and the strength to act. This is also due to the damage. But now that they are getting close, I know that it is essential to do something, because I want to protect my best friends and family, while it’s still possible. In short, I am now trying to be brave and face my fear, because otherwise it will cost even more lives. Even though I seem to be the only one who knows. A risk in confronting such a dragon person is that they drone you, because they can’t stand criticism and they mainly look at what’s evil in your behavior, and don’t recognize the evil in their own behavior. The first people in my surroundings who were taken over were acquaintances / former friends. The first one suddenly posted a picture of herself with a kind of reptilian projection on her body and was completely different in character from how she was at first. I responded to that post and then they knew I knew. In fact: I asked her what they had done to her! The second person happened to had a picture of a dinosaur head on her Facebook, and fooled and lied to me for months. And posted very fragile memories of the original person, which made me furious. I recently had a phone conversation with her, in which I didn’t have the guts to confront her. Again she lied to me that it was all because of me that we hadn’t spoken to each other. She too is completely different from how she was before. They try to imitate the behaviour of the original person, that is called ‘mimicry’ in English, but the energy is totally different. But most people think: they have the same voice, the same appearance, so they can’t be different than the original person. But they have the memories of that person. Many celebrities are also taken over that way, especially because they can talk to such a large audience at the same time. My neighbors are now also harmed in that way. One neighbour called me with a story that turned out to be one big lie and when I went to get a package from her that she had caught, and I confronted her with that lie, she wanted to lure me in, to ‘talk about it’. I definitely said ‘no’, but she insisted, and then I quickly left. Suddenly she’s also close friends with my other neighbor, who never had much contact with that neighbor when she was herself. And that’s something that strikes me with dragons. How they treat other dragons like brothers and sisters. This looks very soggy, like a real hive-mind, who has to keep you in line and secretly talks about you. I also saw this at work with my project supervisor and a co-worker. They suddenly became close friends, and they made it very difficult for me, presumably to get me off the right track, but I see it all as useful treatment, but it is useful treatment that goes much too far, and I can’t approve of that. I think my project leader was droned a couple of years ago, and she chose to leave the body last August, causing my project leader’s body to die, but I think she had been droned a long time before. I’m just sure it wasn’t a coincidence. And there is a reason for this, but I don’t want to share it, because I’m not sure.

I suspect my ex-girlfriend’s taken over now as well. She reacted very positive to this text, but told me that after reading it she found a little dragon puppet near her scooter and this is no coincidence according to her (well Jesse, take the hint). She also said that she can feel whether someone is sincere or not (take the hint again). In her long mail she’s really mirroring me almost frantically, making it seem like I am talking to myself. It’s ridiculous, although I learn a lot from it as well. But this is one of the ways these dragons or organic portals or people that are taken over try to make contact and gain sympathy. They don’t have an identity of their own.

The fact that I’m having these thoughts is unbelievable to a lot of people. As if the village idiot talks, who thinks it’s all about him. And I understand that. But what is certain is that there are strange things going on around me, and that is why I am posting this now, although probably no one will believe me, because of my psychiatric past. But I’m not crazy. This is really happening in this world, and that’s why I started looking for information about it. I think that certain targets are being droned near the main target somehow, becoming organic portals for these entities. Every time I start to float, and lose my grounding, they strike with scary looks, spiteful remarks, confrontations and so on. At first it was only at the mental health facility, but now it has spread to the whole outside world. And all I can say is that it makes me stronger! So it seems as if my whole environment has now become a treatment center, instead of just the mental health center, and I can explain that when I look at how I am. More on that later.

I also suspect that the family dramas you regularly hear about (where for instance a father takes the lives of his wife and kids), in which the perpetrators are so incredibly convicted, can be viewed from a different angle. In my opinion, these dramas very often involve targeted people, more and more of whom are being taken over in their environment, and the targeted person turns to aggression because he knows that his family is no longer his family. These are also often people who spend whole days on the internet searching for the truth. Let’s have compassion for these people. And once again, take the actions of these Antichrist aliens seriously. By the way, the internet is full of stories about them, so take a look and don’t shut your eyes to what’s happening. We all want to be busy with nice things in life, but if a lot of people indicate that this is happening, and there are solid things to discover in it, then it is your duty as a human being to investigate and act on it, and not to bury your head in the sand. As I said, they play an evil role, but it’s about how you deal with it. And they’re not just evil, because otherwise they would have grabbed everyone at the same time. And they target you when you’ve conquered Lucifer and Satan in your personality, so when you’ve reached a middle path. And then they really look at what you allow. But from now on it’s over, even if it costs me my life! I won’t accept it! And that’s why I’m writing this article now! I hope I can plant a seed in people, to investigate this, but I’m convinced that people will think I’m crazy, because they have a too earthly image of reality and a too limited image of what is possible. Nobody likes to admit that they have been fooled.

And to the people or aliens, dragons, wolves or whatever you are, who are targeting me and my friends/family/neighbours. I don’t agree with what you’re doing! I never did, even if I didn’t dare say it then, but I hope to make myself clear now! You should immediately stop taking over people in my environment, and stay very far away from me and my loved ones. I don’t want any trouble from you, not even from people who have already been droned. You have no right to do what you do. I don’t accept that you threaten me or my loved ones and acquaintances in any way. Let that be clear! Before you put my behavior under a magnifying glass, learn to be faultless yourself. It’s the worst kind of hypocrisy. And you are the ones responsible for your misdeeds, whether I seem to allow it or not. Some people are traumatized and you leave them alone! There will be a karmic consequence for your misdeeds, and I totally believe you can bear it! And learn to communicate with fucking words instead of indirect actions. Those actions are not very clear and I often have absolutely no idea what you want to say!

Evil deeds of elite

Another thing people shouldn’t bury their heads in the sand for, is the fact that there are a lot of stories on the internet and in the books that the elite of this world are guilty of murders, human hunts, organ trafficking, child trafficking, child rapes/pedophilia, child murders, MK-ultra mind control, ritual murders and so on all over the world. Earth is a massive mind-control operation. And this is all going to come true in the future. It’s also predicted in the Bible. They are working together all over the world to perform as malicious actions as possible, without the public seeing or realizing it. Of course we know all those world leaders who give orders for big wars, and some people say these world leaders have blood on their hands. But those who carry out the orders are, in my opinion, even more guilty, because they actually carry out the actions in question like blind slaves, and could and should refuse them. Jesus was tested in the desert by the devil (Matthew 4:1-11), who demanded obedience (which is Satan’s influence), and in return would reward him richly (Lucifer’s influence). Jesus refused. And so every man should do. But this is also how it works in the world of labor! You get money in exchange for obedience. People on lower levels in companies and institutions have no idea what they are working on because the lie is different on every level. And at the top, all these companies and institutions have been infiltrated by the aliens/entities/organic portals, which are nothing but people who are taken over by these corrupted entities. Everything that happens in this world, has its cause in the spiritual world, I think. That is: the spiritual world that you can visit through out-of-body experiences, and that people with near-death experiences have also seen. (Read: Robert Monroe).


A person’s identity develops in interaction with the environment, and is highly dependent on whether all feelings (positive and negative) are allowed to exist towards the parent figures, and later towards important other persons. An important part of a child’s identity development is whether all negative feelings are permitted (for example: anger). Another important part of identity development is whether all positive feelings are allowed (such as: love). As I said before, these are the poles of Lucifer and Satan. When working towards universal love, the step of living through negative feelings is essential because one should not become blind to the evil in the world, and the best way not to become blind to evil is to first become ‘evil’ yourself, preferably as a child, as I described in one of the previous paragraphs, and then to control it. What we see a lot in this day and age is that parents skip this step towards their children, and over-control the child too quickly with anger or criticism, actually even before the child has come loose. This then creates people who suppress or lose their dualistic basis. This is particularly visible in the media in the blurring of something as binary as gender, which is most damaging to children or to adults who have not yet outgrown their childhood. It is important for a child to be presented with a simple black and white reality, because he is absolutely not yet ready for an adult non-dualistic view of things. And besides, one thing is not possible without the other. The two extremes (black + white) of dualistic thinking + the one pole of non-dualistic thinking together form the trinity of Christianity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit, acting on thinking, acting and feeling. If all these are aligned, then this is the way of Christ, where it is essential to keep the child alive in yourself. For the child gives you the strength to stand up for yourself and take action in case of injustice.

Satanic people

A lot of different genders that can be seen in the media today (some people claim that there are more than 100 different ones), are consequences of the Satanic impulse, which has been very active for the last centuries, and is taken care of by the Satan group of aliens, or ‘cabal’. Globalism and multiculturalism are also examples of the Satanic impulse, as well as the strong rise of materialism. It is about the equalization of all people and cultures, and this is diametrically opposed to the Luciferic self-love of different cultures side by side. What you see is that many people on the left side of the political spectrum welcome this ‘homeopathic dilution’ (a term used by Thierry Baudet, a Dutch politician). They don’t have enough Luciferic self-love and Baudet accuses them of oikophobia, which is actually a kind of self-hatred or fear of the self, and this fits perfectly with what I said about suppressing the dualistic basis that is essential for self-love. These are often the same people who divide the world into groups of victims, for whom it is necessary to stand up, the identity politics, and you could say that these people deny ‘the evil’ in themselves, and therefore float and lose contact with the earth. They talk in emotional terms like compassion, empathy, always having respect, solidarity, love and light and so on, but they completely forget that these beautiful words can also become tyrannical. Whoever sees the good in the Satanic impulse and uses it in the right place, waits until there is enough self-love with the child by teaching and encouraging the child (the Luciferic impulse) and then when the child can do it on its own and is looking for freedom, to introduce the child to the Satanic impulse by offering limits, getting angry/criticizing and challenging the child in an uncondemning way. Those who have learned from what is happening in the world can use a kind of benign shortcut with their own children and often let this intertwine, in the sense that in expressing yourself as a parent you keep balancing the Luciferic with the Satanic. Don’t get angry without love for the child. And don’t be sweet to the child without feeling your dualistic basis, i.e. being grounded. And teach the child to express all his emotions, especially to you. But there are different paths that lead to Rome. Even in adulthood there is still a lot to develop. But if it doesn’t go well, and you or your child have failed to learn, then evil is the only way to get you back on the right track. Although that doesn’t mean that everything everyone goes through is always right and in the right place at the right time! And that is actually the real definition of evil. For everything is a place and a time. And this great development will be evil at first, because none of us are already perfect and we have to see how it SHOULDN’T be done to freely choose how it SHOULD be done.

When I still had an identity problem, I was all I thought was ‘good’. I identified with that goodness, and had a whole list of things in my head that I thought were good or evil. And the ‘evil’ wasn’t me, and the ‘good’ was me. After a clinical therapy (more about that later) I obsessively went the other way, and resisted ‘the good’, and I was satisfied with it at that moment. Unfortunately a lot of people think that way. They lose contact with their earthly basis in a kind of evil Luciferic expansion, that works on the Satanic (material) field. So one pole fights the other. There can also be a Satanic compression that works on the Luciferic (spiritual) field. This is also evil. Luciferic expansion and Satanic compression of the mind can only be benign if they work in their own field, where one pole does not fight the opposite pole, but gives room. Only then is there constructive dialogue, and a real connection. Note: this is about your psychological state, and how you deal with your emotions in connection to others.

My psychiatric past

I grew up in a family where my boundaries were not really respected and there was absolutely no room for anger. Actually, my whole childhood my anger was disapproved of in a rather severe way. Because of this I was admitted at the age of 18 to a clinic for specialized treatment with an identity problem and an anxiety disorder and a personality disorder. Part of the therapy was to allow more aggression and eventually the therapists encouraged me to aggressively fantasize about my surroundings. This improved the quality of life enormously. At that moment my therapists didn’t know yet that the severe disapproval I had experienced was the cause of me not permitting my aggression. Because we had mainly talked about another trauma that could cause that: the fear of destroying someone else with my aggression, which can also be caused by your parents not setting boundaries or defending their boundaries badly. But through rigorous behavioral therapy they taught me to handle those aggressive feelings, and when I allowed the aggression and I saw that everyone was alive and well and that I could handle it fine, this was a tremendous relief. The therapists then had to assess whether there was any serious disapproval of anger in my childhood, and they didn’t think so. And then the logical next step was to teach me to take a middle path, in which I learn to control the aggression more while retaining the qualities it gives me.

Through many confrontations and mirrors that were presented to me in this subsequent therapy, my psychologically pumped up state came to an end, and I felt my aggression sinking down into my body (compressing). When I no longer had any serious traumas, this step was essential, and it would allow me to develop my identity further so that I could make a healthy connection with others, including intimate connections. But for me, this step was disastrous, because my anger and aggression was severely disapproved of my entire childhood. Because of this I lost the experience of my aggression again. The only difference with the situation when I was 18 years old was that I now had a connection between my core (my aggression) and my thinking mind. My core had sunk down from my head into my body), but I did lose the experience of those powerful feelings. And that should never have happened. It was a terrible therapeutic mistake.

So in other words: I needed my aggression to survive, and I identified with my aggression, which by that last therapy had completely disappeared. I was in a horrible prison and I didn’t allow myself to be angry. By controlling my aggression, I had not overcome the fear of being controlled, but my anger had disappeared forever, and the fear of being destroyed had become a reality. Because that’s a realistic fear, if you look at what I’ve been through. I was severely restrained from the inside ever since. Since then, the way I feel has deteriorated further and further due to confrontations that I couldn’t cope with, until I started to lose my self-confidence again. Then my therapists intervened again and I worked towards a kind of recovery in which the anger of others no longer touches me. But the prison remains. So if there are serious traumas, the aggression is simply necessary to stay alive. If you pull someone like that out of his aggression with a lot of pressure, they will implode destructively and they will end up in a psychological prison. As Abraxas of Thuban thought at that Birth of Gaia forum. No aggression was in his thoughts equal to a prison. But my point is, that when people are allowed to grow up in love and you let them grow up very gradually (the child sets the pace) with this love, and limits, anger, and disapproval, then a child in his later life does not need his aggression at all to feel free! Responsibility and duties are part of a life in which one chooses for the good, but man will choose for this of his own free will then, and will not see or feel it as a curtailment of his freedom. No, it will MAKE him free. And that is the big lesson for the dragons (excuse me), for whom I do feel sympathy, and with whom I also identify somewhat because of my past. The dragons have many talents, but unfortunately they can’t generate feelings on their own, like people often can. In other words: they need humans to be able to feel something. This is because the dragons can’t constructively implode, something I recognize very much, because my anger was rejected too soon, before I had enough confidence in myself. So I have compassion for the dragons. They’re the prison guards and our teachers. If you’re not in a prison, you don’t get it at all! That’s why a lot of people will think I’ve gone crazy. Because whoever escapes from prison doesn’t focus on the prison guards anymore. But escaping from prison in my emotions is not possible for me anymore. In my behavior however it is still a bit possible.

Personality disorders are often a result of experiencing one or more of the 3 evil forces (Lucifer-Satan-Antichrist) too early in life. Too early means: when you weren’t ready yet. In my example: I have experienced the Antichrist-impulse (destructive/disapproving anger) too soon, at the moment I was only ready for the Satanic impulse (compressive anger). But it can also be a result of experiencing the 3 evil forces too late or not at all.

As I said before, the dragons play an evil role, but you could understand that mankind is not yet developed enough to play the benign role towards each other. But the evil roles balance out perfectly if humanity chooses to learn from them and transform them into good. The dragons infiltrate society in all kinds of ways. They pretend to be people and often sit in high positions in government and institutions, as well as in mental health institutions. When people form groups and proclaim the truth, with too many followers, these groups are infiltrated and corrupted, ensuring that the truth never comes out and reaches the masses. This is to ensure that people all continue to evolve as separate individuals into the Christ Consciousness. Christ doesn’t follow, and he didn’t want followers. He brought the sword (Matthew 10:34) and showed others how they are. He unmasked evil, using the positive gifts of Lucifer and Satan, which are actually the evil attributes of the Holy Spirit and the Father from the Trinity. Christ is then the son and has his challenge in the Antichrist.

If certain feelings are not made conscious in yourself or you lose the essence/experience of these feelings, then the conflict takes place in the external world. In other words: you then evoke it. The antidote is then to make these feelings conscious, so that the inner contradiction and the fight dissolves. My anger was rejected at too young an age. So I lost my connection with these feelings. In my later life, this resulted in conflict. I met both Lucifer (as in ‘uncritical love’ (which is in fact also a form of evil, but essential for a young child, for example), and Satan (as in ‘compressive anger’), but unfortunately also the Antichrist (as in ‘destructive anger’). Because I experienced this destructive anger too early, which is a trauma for a child, I cannot integrate my own anger, which is essential to be able to cope with the 3 forms of evil and to be able to integrate them, although the (constructive or destructive) effects of these 3 forms are just as real as anything else. Mankind must first learn to integrate the light (Lucifer), then the shadow (Satan), and the final challenge is to express love in your actions (what you learn from the Antichrist), but for this you absolutely need your anger. Sacred anger is what some people call it, because there is love behind it, which is really nothing more than transformed hatred. Love contains a component of hate. It’s a balance. In the right place in the body (your lowest chakras) it empowers your message. In this way you get your thinking, your feeling, and your actions aligned, and that’s what the Christ figure stands for.

E.U. and the New World Order

There are a lot of people in the Netherlands who are in favour of the European Union (EU). Most political parties are pro-EU, and those that are against it are vilified. It seems to be the prevailing view, that if you want to belong to the good men, you have to be in favor of the EU. What happens to the EU in Europe must eventually happen all over the world, and that is that the world becomes a big superstate, in which everyone is free to go wherever they want. A big superstate, in which everyone thinks the same, and believes the same, everyone speaks one language, which will be English. This superstate means, that there are no more countries defending their own culture, but all cultures are diluted into one culture. You would think that war would no longer be able to take place. But what’s not mentioned is that if there is a superstate, where a small group of rich people control everything, because that is what it is all about in practice, it is very well possible that this group of people (the elite) will turn against the people. And that is the plan. I wrote earlier that humanity is not in a Darwinian development, but in a spiritual development. And to place the new world order in the development of mankind, I say the following: If you force somebody to throw their aggression into contact, so that the reaction you give to it can compress their aggression, people will become incredibly dangerous and will try with all their might to defend what is theirs, these feelings. This is only possible under controlled circumstances. And this is what the elite are trying to achieve with their new world order, so that they can apply the Satanic impulse to anyone who misbehaves, by means of a large police force. As I wrote, a child who only gets the unbalanced Luciferic love and encouragement of the parent figures will at some point seek premature freedom and derail like a real demon, so that the parents have to get over it in the form of the Satanic impulse: the compressive anger of the parent figures towards the child. This will make the child aware of himself. Extreme evil creates extreme good and extreme good creates extreme evil. So it is important to first encourage one side until the polarization in society is maximized, and then act in the opposite direction. One will listen more to the Luciferic sound and the other will listen more to the Satanic sound. And these two poles will then be diametrically opposed in conflicts and wars, with the elite always financially supporting both sides. In many countries you now also see the rise of populism. In the US you have Trump. In England Nigel Farage, in the Netherlands Wilders and Baudet. The cabal, the Satanic part of the elite, would like to get rid of this Luciferic view for the near future, and a gigantic battle will be stimulated between these two poles, including nuclear war. And it’s closer than you think! So I’m warning everyone. They are also going to flood large parts of the world (the Netherlands and England too) and the explanation will be that it is because of climate change, so that the opinions of the people who doubted that (the Luciferic people) will be dealt with. It is Satan versus Lucifer. The cabal versus the alliance. Either evil against good, although this is not quite the right way to look at it, because you could say that they are both evil, although in the long run it serves a greater purpose if mankind chooses to learn from it, so it is not only evil. So by stimulating the Satanic, the people who are more Luciferic will start protesting, and that protest will be suppressed or labeled as evil with false information, so no one will dare anymore to promote the Luciferic. Petitions are also used to see where the opponents of the ‘right’ opinion are, so that they can be provided with the ‘right’ treatment in time, because at this stage of humanity’s development it’s the right time for the Satanic impulse.

What is certain is that the Satanic elite will get their new world order and then man will descend completely into the material, and there will be a communist system on earth, with a central government, and the internet will be heavily controlled, and that is where people will get their information. Also look at devices like Amazon Alexa and Google Home, and fake news checks on Facebook. “Don’t bother understanding the world: we’ll do it for you!” But there is an information war, and the Internet will portray a false reality. If mankind is so tyrannically controlled by this information and the Satanic new world order, where the ruling elite turns against the people, then at some point, part of mankind will find the right place for the Satanic power and through real understanding of how the world works will reach a middle path. But it has to get worse first before it can get any better! This is in order to be able to fully experience the result of mistakes (i.e.: not learning). And the mistake one is going to make is to let go of the Luciferic. The baby will be thrown away with the bathwater. But what I want to say is that there is a place in the development for this Luciferic self-love. It is essential that as a human being you first learn to love yourself and then as this self-love grows too big, you learn to control these feelings, WITHOUT them disappearing. Man will, if he goes all the way down to experiencing the material, live in a world full of robots, transhumanism, false information, diversity, 100 genders, and so on, and will become so fed up with all this communist control and eternal accusations of (and later convictions for) racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and so on, that he will also find the right place again for the Luciferic power (self-love). Lucifer is the light-bearer, and will then through confrontation with the Satanic force change into Christ, for Christ is the light. Through disasters and attacks that are often orchestrated, this will also be accelerated. This is the second coming of Christ. Not in the outside world, but in the hearts of us all.

The best way to keep control over the people is to lead the opposition yourself, or pay TV personalities to share information. This is ‘controlled opposition’. In the US they have Infowars, and here in the Netherlands an example is Robert Jensen’s internet show. People who are dangerous to the big plan are tracked down and silenced, often using the Antichrist aliens, whose consciousness takes possession of a person’s body. The original consciousness is then dead. But the alien has the memories of that person. Many world leaders have been droned in this way, but people are also cloned, especially American celebrities. This technology has been used on humans for years, but it doesn’t work flawlessly. Many clones do not function properly and therefore need handlers to guide them and provide them with instructions. Whoever in the music world sells his soul to the devil, is cloned (they let the bodies grow in large tanks (this is sometimes seen in science-fiction movies), and can be transported from one body to another in no time with one push of a button. All these celebrities go to the cloning center at night where they are pursuing pleasures and undergoing horrors. They won’t have dreams anymore then. I’ve discovered in several places that a tip of the veil is lifted, or that celebrities joke about what they are going to do at night. It’s all in your face, if you develop an eye for that. Donald Marshall has written a lot about this.


As mentioned before, you can reach the Christ Consciousness by first becoming as negative as possible and then working towards the balanced state. These are the ‘left hand path’ and the ‘right hand path’ from Satanism and Luciferianism, although in these movements, this is not seen as an intermediate step, but as an end point. But it is essential for the inspiration of the heart. Of course this preferably happens when you are a child, but in your later life you can also change a lot, by working through your emotions, and thus working hard on yourself. In alchemy there is such a thing as nigredo (blackening), albedo (whitening), and rubedo (reddening). These 3 terms stand for psychological processes: The blackening is firstly becoming as negative as possible (can be either Luciferic or Satanic), the whitening is learning from your mistakes, and getting rid of everything immoral about your own behavior, and the reddening is the coronation to Christ Consciousness. In the Christ Consciousness, your heart is the focus point of your consciousness. We all have an electromagnetic field around us, in the form of a torus with a double vortex in it. And when the electricity flowing through the vortexes in the points of the two vortexes coincide in the center of the heart, consciousness is incredibly accelerated. This allows you to send your own consciousness away from the light at the end of the tunnel when you are dead, which is important because the light erases your memory and brings you into a new reincarnation cycle.

According to the latest research on consciousness, the self-awareness of man works through phase conjugation, a concept from optical physics. A phase conjugate is a mirror that sends back ‘radiation’ from any direction (including at an angle) in exactly the same direction. This offers tremendous potential for weapons (scalar weapons these are called), but it is also the material mechanism that makes people aware of themselves. Because important people ‘hold up a mirror to you’ in your life, and the other person answers your behaviour with a reaction, you can become aware of your own behaviour. And this is exactly how people can change their behavior. These interactions fix themselves in your psyche at an early age. I said earlier that Lucifer is the juvenating force. And Satan the aging force. Through phase conjugation, time reversal takes place when a person’s strength and reactions are led back to themselves in a constructive way. By the way, time is not the fourth dimension. And Einstein’s spacetime is complete nonsense. Time’ is in the rotation of electromagnetic waves in the ether, as well on the scale of our world as on a smaller scale in the human and in the smallest particles. The electromagnetic field that hangs around a human being consists of several layers. These can be made visible with aura photography. It’s a torus (donut) with in it 2 oppositely rotating vortexes. This torus with 2 vortexes can even be found in the smallest particles (vibrating electrically neutral dipoles). And on a large scale also in the form of the bubble we live in. This works fractally and holographically, like interlocking Russian dolls. Dan Winter has a lot of information about this. This is compatible with mainstream physics, but I choose not to focus on this in this story. For that I would have to dive back into the books. Also the Lucifer dragon Abraxas of Thuban, of which I spoke earlier, explained the string theory and came up with a model that confirms the torus with 2 opposing vortexes, although he expressed it in a slightly different way.

Charles W. Lucas Jr. has united all 4 forces of nature known in mainstream physics into 1 electrodynamic force, and concludes that it is longitudinal waves that make life possible, which is totally ignored in mainstream physics. Faraday cages do not stop these longitudinal waves. The speed of light is not the maximum. Longitudinal waves are instantaneous. This can give an explanation for ‘paranormal’ phenomena, as well as out-of-body experiences and near-death experiences.

Pim van Lommel has a fantastic book about near-death experiences (Consciousness beyond life), in which he explains near-death experiences by means of a good literature study (quantum physics). A critic like Dick Swaab fails to understand that book. In short, he wildly criticizes the book and then throws the baby out with the bathwater, which is not very scientific. The conclusion of Van Lommel’s book is: the brain doesn’t produce consciousness: it facilitates it. The images you watch on TV are not in the TV either. And that’s how you have to understand the brain of a human being. Consciousness is omnipresent in the matter around us. Only we are not all aware of our behaviours. But what I am trying to say in this story is, that it IS possible, by working hard on yourself. And we owe it to ourselves and to our fellow human beings, in a world full of drama, death and destruction. And it is precisely through confrontation that one learns.

Reading material

Everything we are taught at school is a lie or not the complete truth and it is designed that way. All knowledge is fragmented in different subjects and its integral basis is kept secret. But if you think integrally and interdisciplinarily, you can find out all this information. Go read about anything and everything, especially outside your own discipline and integrate all the information with each other. It is a voyage of discovery. David Icke (by now taken over by another entity), Donald Marshall (by now also taken over by another entity), Mark Passio, Eric Dubay, Rupert Sheldrake, Dan Winter, Pim van Lommel, Robert Monroe, Walter Russell, Jim Marrs (deceased, rumours are that he was murdered), Charles W. Lucas Jr, Rudolf Steiner, Jordan Peterson (also taken over by another entity: with him the difference in personality is obvious; they even faked old video footage of him), Larken Rose (also taken over by another entity), Bruce Lipton, Gerald Pollack, Wes Penre, Michael Tsarion and so on.

I’m not ashamed of my thoughts, they’re well-considered, and I’m not lying. The things I’m not sure about, I’ve tried to keep speculative in this story. It’s nice to do mental gymnastics by immersing yourself in other people’s points of view, and to be able to see that those points of view are all true on a certain level. Same with ‘good’ and ‘evil’. But I think I have shown in this story that I understand myself, and that I can integrate my condition and experiences with what has been written in literature. And for the other wild claims I make: If you ask, where is your proof? I say: You want the proof to be presented on a silver platter! It doesn’t work like that! Whoever sees the divine in everything and knows himself, will know that there is a visible part of reality and an invisible part of reality. The invisible part you can find out by looking inside yourself and then reading as much as possible, and diving straight into the subjects that cause you fear or resistance or that you are inclined to reject, in short: by being critical of yourself. Gradually you will discover that the world is very different from what we are all taught, and then you will discover the world for real. Go forward one step at a time, until at some point you look straight through all the lies and you are no longer afraid of anyone. Nothing is what it seems! The truth is inside! And the outside reflects the inside!

I thank everyone who has read till the end for their attention!

posted on Feb 10, 2020 by Jesse Musson

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