It always comes as a shock again when someone visibly undergoes a metamorphosis and, in my opinion, has just been taken over. They suddenly change things about their appearance. I am inclined to think that they do this to conceal the change in their energy, so in short, that they do this consciously, but since most people are not conscious of their shadow (making it conscious is often a process, that happens in therapy), it may just as well be that it is completely unconscious, and that it is mainly the total change in energy when the person is taken over, that causes different choices in terms of appearance. I notice this in myself too. Since I felt something come over me at a low point at the end of November last year, and then received a message on my Facebook that said, “I see how hard you’ve been working. Here’s a complementary dino for everything you do,” I’ve been feeling a bit more youthful and making different choices in terms of clothing. I now wear glasses when I go outside, and I’ve bought sneakers and T-shirts, whereas I used to wear regular shirts, no glasses, and certainly no sneakers. It’s a bit strange. I still feel like myself, but it’s as if I’m accompanied by this complementary dinosaur, and that I’m waiting for the moment when I give up, and the dinosaur becomes the main character in my body. The Christian faith offers a lot of support in the idea that this takeover is simply a renewal of your personality. A renewal in which you get back everything you ever gave up. It’s a hopeful story, as I also saw the new pope tell in one of his sermons. But still, I am quick to see something evil in it: that reptilian souls from the astral world are taking over the whole world like body snatchers. That’s what it boils down to. But I think this is a lie we should not fall for. Because for all we know, that alien spirit that you view as ‘not your own’ is actually a projection of everything you have lost in your life, and you will be reunited with it during the so-called takeover. Then the Mayan expression “In Lak’ech,” which I once heard on a YouTube channel, is a statement that expresses real truth. It means something like “You are another me!” And we should even apply this to parts of ourselves that we have lost and no longer see as “ours,” such as these “entities” I write about on this site. This would be a wonderful truth!
Or is this naive behavior, and am I unknowingly under the influence of these evil Dragons and Wolves, and more of those powerful symbols that people throughout history have told about in myths and legends, before they died and were taken over? Unfortunately, I cannot reassure anyone with 100% certainty, so this is something everyone must figure out for themselves. I try to have faith in the universe and leave behind everything I see as a corruption of the truth, everything that offends my soul. And yet I want to give you, the reader, hope, even though I cannot tell it to you with 100% certainty. Maybe that will come in the future. I hope that if I am taken over, I will retain my self-awareness and not become a walking automaton, completely unaware of my energy or shadow and unable to voluntarily choose to refrain from making statements that hurt people unjustly, for example. While typing this text, I even have the idea that this dinosaur spirit is speaking to me and that I am offending it while typing. It’s a bit bizarre. But if I don’t think about it, it doesn’t bother me. When I look at my behavior, I sometimes feel like a blunt asshole. I curse a lot when I have problems with my computer, and I have become a lot less intelligent. I can’t follow things at all anymore. Part of that is due to increasing age, but it’s also due to changes in recent years, and the damage I suffered. It’s certain that I’m not feeling very good, but there is also a part that IS good, and for the most part I have become accustomed to feeling bad. But I dream of a better life. Meanwhile, I get “memories” on my phone of quotes from Facebook that I once saved. They return sometimes as notifications. The latest one said: “Soon you will get everything you desire!” And yes, it is indeed what I dream of. I would like so much more in this life, but with my current personality, much is impossible. I am simply too damaged! But there is hope. There is desire. And I know what I like. I know what I find beautiful. And I know what I want, and I hope that I will be granted it. Even though I dream of a different/better life, I am still very grateful for the peace I experience in my current little life. Many things are still worthwhile, even though I live in a mental prison. But as I said, I’ve gotten used to it, and then you can still be content. But I’m also afraid that I will die while there is still so much I wanted to do in my life, but couldn´t. And that’s such a shame. Of course, I know that you are not always granted the opportunity to end your life with a feeling of contentment. Many people die while still having so much they wanted to do. You don’t get to decide. But I would find it such a shame. Life is so precious. You are a person who has been cared for by your parents and other family. You have meant something to them. And they have meant something to you. That is such a fragile and beautiful thing. I once heard Hillary Clinton say that people are not valuable, that human life is not valuable. But I strongly disagree with that. That nihilistic streak, which always ends in death and destruction, and the unwillingness to change anything for the better in this world, is so disgusting. And anyone who cares about people, or who has had people who care about them, knows that. Life is valuable. And it is important that we make it as pleasant as possible for each other, without being passive, when someone behaves badly. Because people who behave badly can be confronted by your conscious shadow. By making your shadow conscious, you can ensure that it is administered in the right place and at the right time. This is the definition of goodness. Rudolf Steiner once said, “Evil is good, administered in the wrong place and at the wrong time.” But we can also turn it around and say: Good is evil, administered at the right time and in the right place. So there is a place for both sides. When it’s administered not at the right time and not in the right place, you will get these two polarities of Lucifer and Satan, which I expose in my articles. As we mature, we learn to integrate these two extremes, and learn to see the gifts of them. But when we integrate them both, we are guaranteed to encounter the third force: the Antichrist. This is unavoidable in this day and age. This is truly mature evil, and it is an energy of rejection and disapproval, and slowly this force peels away your ego until you give in and are taken over, which may be a kind of merging with everything you have lost through the earlier rejection and disapproval. People around you who have experienced this before, often without even being aware of it, suddenly become evil opposition. But this force will keep hammering away at you until you integrate this force into yourself as well. The way to work through this process is by producing works, perhaps until you have reached a state of “grace” and voluntarily give up your life for the sake of God’s plan. Then you will get back everything you have lost. It is also a natural mechanism to catch people who are at the end of their rope and restore balance in yourself and your environment.
Lately, I have been suffering from self-pity. I regularly think about small events in which someone set a boundary for me, and then I feel like an idiot. I should have done everything differently, I’m thinking then. I also think a lot about the moments when I gave a lot, and then people let me down so badly. That feels terrible, but as soon as I say that out loud, my family immediately confronts me with such events on a small scale, for example when they trample on my boundaries or seem to not give a shit about me, which makes me jump out of my skin again and forces me to deal with this state of self-pity differently and process the events that are actually at the roots of it.
