I have had several strange dreams in recent weeks. Sometimes when I wake up startled, I see things, kind of brief visions. One time, after the single green flash I described in my article Strange feelings, I saw both a green flash and an orange flash. These are probably blocked chakras, which God is informing me about. The green chakra is your heart chakra, your love chakra. This has to do with the passivity I feel, which prevents me from accomplishing anything, causes me to take too little action, and sometimes leads me to say I will do things and then not do them out of general malaise. The orange chakra is your sacral chakra, your sexual chakra. I have a major blockage there. It represents the anger I felt as a child. And which I suppress. Later in life, this became related to my sexuality. It also represents creativity, which was severely suppressed when I became ill. Look at this aura photo from years ago, and check which colors are missing. Orange and green. Red is present, except when my girlfriend at the time is standing next to me, then the red disappears. Yellow is present. And blue, and violet is present. I don’t have a recent aura photo of this emotional layer, but it’s certainly interesting. Especially the fact that the red part disappears when my girlfriend at the time is standing next to me. That immediately convinced me of the truth of aura photography. Because I recognize this very well, of course. It says that I lose the experience of my aggression (red chakra) when I am with my girlfriend at the time, and that has consequences for my sexual potency, which is a mix of red and yellow, and is located around the orange chakra. It shows that my damage is a lot worse when I am among people. That is why I usually choose to be alone in my home.
I also had another dream last week. I dreamed that I was at university and made contact with a girl there, and that at some point she rejected me. I traveled home, by bus, disappointed. When I got home, I walked down the street. Suddenly, I saw two girls from my village whom I knew from the past. They were skipping carefree, and one of them took my hand and literally pulled me into her life. I felt incredibly seen. And it felt like she really cared about me, and it meant a lot to me. I woke up with a “wow” and was surprised by this dream. But it has been a huge source of support for me all week. I think about her a lot. I am aware that this probably has nothing to do with reality, but it still reassures me immensely. For weeks, I’ve been getting all kinds of recommendations on YouTube about “limerence”, obsessive infatuations that don’t pertain to reality. And about “nice guys” who are head over heels for women, while the woman in the story is completely elsewhere with her head and wants nothing to do with the “nice guy”, which she then expresses, causing the so-called “nice guy” to divert into a rage. It’s entertaining content because it’s such a typical phenomenon. But I can’t say I identify with such guys. As I said in an earlier article, I feel an increasing need to build something serious with someone, but I still have annoying imperfections that prevent me from being who I want to be and through which I often disappoint people. And that’s even though I’ve worked really hard to get rid of these corruptions. And sometimes I really feel like I’m going to be severely punished for this by God. It’s hard for me to keep my faith. Because I had even more dreams:
I woke up startled a few days ago, and it felt as if something was entering me again. For a moment, I felt lighter than usual, even though the prison inside me was still the same. And suddenly, for a few seconds, my vision was very sharp. It was as if my vision had a fast shutter speed, like in sports photography. It was strange, but I was immediately grateful that I was able to experience this. Until I got the thought that this might be another first warning, as I described in my article December update: first warning. After all, it happened in exactly the same way. I am still the same person. But I am always afraid that this happened as a result of my corruptions and mistakes that I have not yet been able to deal with. This is terrible! And it causes a lot of sadness. I calculated again 2x 5 weeks ahead, the same time as when the warnings occurred last winter. 70 days. 70, a number that we can also find in the Bible, and which may have something to do with this, perhaps the latter as a fractal of the former. I arrived at a few days before the beginning of autumn. The autumn equinox, the moment when the days are as long as the nights. When I looked up information about this on Google, I almost immediately found an article about pagan traditions, and discovered that this date is called the Second Harvest, or Mabon, and that in pagan tradition there are three such Harvests. When I continued searching, I almost immediately came across this article, which contains information about the Christian Rapture, or “rapture of the church”, which consists of three harvests as well. Three Jewish festivals celebrate these Resurrection dates. The Second Harvest is the rapture of people who were not loving enough, but who have purified themselves of their deeds and symbolically washed their clothes white, as we can also find in the Bible book of Revelation. Are the pagan dates about the Harvests the real dates when people are harvested? And does this take place every year, or only at this time, because the cycle is coming to an end?
My life has clearly been an enormous tribulation (I usually start crying when I take it all in) and I recognize myself very much in this whitewashing, the constant purification I have undergone over the past 20 years. What I have faced is enormous! Will I, just like last time (see my article Final warning) receive a second (final) warning? And can I overcome my weaknesses when being warned? Or are my corruptions no longer solvable by being compressed in God’s wine press? For me, it all has to do with being compressed too hard too soon. This causes great fear, and thus protest. You then become the protest. You can then suppress it when it comes out through your higher chakras. But then it settles around your lower chakras. You can then suppress it again, but for me that really doesn’t get the energy flowing again, so I don’t think that it will solve my imperfection, but I really want it to. The problem is that I am too suppressed. Suppressing it even more won’t help. But maybe it will help partially, as far as my behavior is concerned. And the energy will only start flowing again when I am “taken over”, that is, when I am anointed and, like all those other people, resurrected. The internet is full of people who claim to have experienced this. That they have found their original free selves again and so on. I find it difficult to maintain faith, that’s for sure. Because emotionally, I apparently cannot imagine that God is a God of love. Maybe I need to correct myself and see it as something originating in my past. But I’m not sure of anything anymore.
In recent weeks, I have had even more dreams in which I do the most idiotic things. Very frustrating. Lots of sex and violence! Why do I have these bizarre dreams? Is that me in those dreams? I don’t want to be like that anymore, not in any case. Am I really that rotten inside? Do I even have to take responsibility for dreams before God? That’s going too far. But perhaps it all serves a purpose. Namely, to show me such negative, destructive things that I choose with conviction to live a positive, constructive life in the service of God. And really, I want nothing more than that! ‘Cause I’m so tired of it all!
