In this chapter I talk about theocracy, and share the sins I have been guilty of in my life.

Atonement for my sins

Many people compare theocracies to dictatorships, because there are no good examples of theocracies in our time. But in the case where everyone living actively aligns themselves with universal truth (which certainly exists), and this universal truth is not a secret as in this world, but actively pursued by everyone, then a theocracy is the only right form of government, in my opinion. In that case, it is the perfect balance between being good to yourself and being good to others. People sometimes say that in the case where everyone has aligned themselves in that way and thereby choose a theocracy, you don’t actually need the theocracy, and it might as well be a democracy. I had to think about this for a moment:

Theocracy actually means rule by God. It can be a form of state with clergy at its head who are faithful to this universal truth, but it can also be a form of state with God at the top. This is not a dictatorship if everyone has aligned with the laws of God and through hard work has aligned with this rule, which is thus the perfect combination/balance of what is good for the individual and what is good for the entire community. To say that it might as well be a democracy then is a bit strange. Because then you are passing over God. And God is the Source of everything, so we must honor Him in that. If you fit into such a community, together with your fellow human beings, then it is literally paradise.

However, because of the Fall of Man and the influence of the Luciferic entities (who introduced Free Will), man has ceased to be obedient to God. The individual has grown too big and sits himself on the Throne of God. This is a development deliberately chosen by the higher powers so that man can become independent of God, something I have repeated in many articles. But having achieved that independence, it is important that you also know your place here, and learn to obey God again, but this time it is not a blind obedience, but an independent kind of obedience. An obedience by free will, in other words. This is the solution to all the problems this world has. And the infiltration of 3 groups of evil entities on the world, ensures, that the right interactions take place, that lead man to this very balanced state as quickly as possible, but it requires man to take his own role in this seriously and do the necessary inner work, so to work towards this balanced Christ state.

To live in the spirit of Christ, then, man does need to align himself with what this Christ-figure stands for. But perhaps also with God’s laws. Some people say that the 10 Commandments are under the old covenant, and Jesus paid the price for them. You might think that the world, in which the principle of the Christ is known, and the evil forces are given room to do their work, and the wickedness of people is always kept under control by means of disease, death, and karma, which are put in place by the benevolent spirits as a counterbalance to this evil influence, we don’t necessarily need laws, because the interplay of all these forces, automatically already leads you to the Christ ideal, which is a universal truth, and applies to every human being, regardless of faith or origin or whatever. But other people believe that the laws are still valid, but that the original meaning of these 10 Commandments requires some research. Johan Oldenkamp has done that research using old Bibles and has made a video, which you can order on his site (video number 20: The Law), that explains the 10 Commandments as they are really meant to be and it is worth watching. He does away with the warped portrayal of the Commandments found in later Bibles, and makes sure we can all do something with these laws, which thus make all the ordinary human laws obsolete.

But actually we have all sinned as far as these 10 Commandments are concerned. And the 7 deadly sins are also an important indicator. The common narrative is that all our mistakes will be forgiven us if we repent, admit our mistakes and never make those same mistakes again. But actually at times I catch myself on the impulse that I find the talk of sins and repentance a bit childish all around. After all, the reality is often a little different, a little more nuanced, a little more complicated. It is precisely because people are damaged in their lives, especially in childhood when they are dependent on adults, that they keep falling into sins in later life. They are held responsible in later life for things that came about because of great injustice done to them, for which they themselves were not actually responsible, but which causes them to suffer consequences in later life, for which they themselves are held responsible. Let us have compassion for all these people, including myself.

Sometimes the injustice is so great that the only way to still have a stable foundation as far as your personality is concerned, is to raise a murderous rage, which one then learns to handle through rigorous behavioral therapy. I went through that process. And I felt very good then. But I was always angry! This is called one of the deadly sins. But I have also suffered from fatigue all my life and in recent years from procrastination, putting things off, something that can be interpreted as laziness, but absolutely is not. Furthermore, I have done several things I should not have done: I stole a bag of chocolate mints from the supermarket once, I “forged” an identity card in high school so someone could get into a café, I broke into someone’s email account because I knew the answer to her secret question, and I have been looking at naked girls on the Internet since I was 14, and in my later life, at porn. I still do this about once a month, and I can’t seem to stop doing it. I have also had sex before marriage. Precisely because I was put in such an oppressive prison with such appalling aggression in my youth, I sometimes get a great need to break free, and want to see other people break free to escape the oppressive moral order I normally impose on myself. You can only impose a strict moral order on yourself if the immoral feelings are allowed to exist enough. Only then can you work through them and eventually transmute them into higher feelings. So it is very important that you learn to integrate these aggressive feelings, which are facilitated by the deepest parts of the brain, the reptilian brain. If this is not done, then a normal moral order will always feel extra oppressive to you, even though you know with your mind that this moral order is the only way to a peaceful society. This need to let myself go, precisely because I am in such an oppressive prison, belongs, as far as I am concerned, to lust, which again is a capital sin, and which this world is really full of. Then I also have the capital sin gluttony, not because I eat so much, but because I eat mainly bad things, which in the end I don’t even enjoy. Then another main sin: envy. I really only knew that in my adolescence, for example when my then girlfriend was talking to another boy, originated in the relationship with my mother and father. Gigantically jealous I was then. Furthermore, in my life I hit my sister several times, which immediately became a trauma for me because I had seen my father do the same to my sister, and I then identified with him and thought of the times he had done the same to me. I also physically lifted up several boys I was bothered by, who were younger than me, and threw them away, like pieces of dirt, one even in a ditch. That felt good at the time, but they were cowardly actions. And I bought two 17-year old girls a bottle of liquor in the supermarket, when they asked me. Another thing I would never do now. I also hit on women who already had a boyfriend sitting at home. Very disrespectful. Furthermore, for years in my life I downloaded thousands of movies via Usenet, without paying a single penny to the creators. Now I do favor the free dissemination of information, and those movie companies are already super rich, but still it’s not really proper behavior. And another immoral thing I do is eating meat, knowing that those animals have suffered untold pain. But again, I don’t feel strong enough to quit it for good. You can only stop doing immoral things if your immoral feelings are allowed to exist. Only then can you let go of these feelings. That is precisely the awful paradox. So when your aggression is allowed to exist, you won’t be aggressive. But when it isn’t allowed to exist, it is necessary to bring it to the surface in your body through therapy, for example.

So you see, I am a thoroughly imperfect human being. And I’m not pretending to be holier than I am. I hope that by sharing the things I’ve learned in my life, as I do on this site, I can atone for my mistakes. As I say, I am not yet sin-free, nor will I become so, because that requires a stronger spirit. I am imperfect. But please, let’s not be childish about it and remain realistic. I do know how man can become perfect, and how man has an ideal with the Christ-figure that he can work toward, to whom compared he can only be very humble, which is what I am trying to share on this website, and with which I can hopefully inspire you.

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Section 1: 1984-2017

Section 1


A brief overview of my childhood, how my treatment for severe anxiety and identity issues went all wrong, and how I deal with the disastrous consequences.

Section 2: 2018-2023

Section 2


How I discover information about entities taking over bodies and how these entities eventually open the attack on me and those around me.

Section 3: various topics

Section 3

various topics

An explanation for my experiences in therapy, multiple other things I have discovered in my quest for truth, and my opinion on additional matters.




These are some of the articles I have written over time. Some are offline now, but have reappeared in the three sections of my story, displayed in the Introduction.