Nothing happened on my birthday. I had survived the two five-week periods and was allowed to continue with my life. But it was clear that the warnings I received were related to my behavior. In 2025, I kept seeing colored flashes whenever I woke up. If I’d been furious about something, I’d see a red flash the next day. If I’d masturbated, I’d see an orange flash. And it occurred to me that each color represents one of your chakras and one of the seven deadly sins. Now, it’s not really clear which sins correspond to which colors. Every information site has a slightly different take on this, so I had to figure it out for myself. But most of the time, I could easily connect it to where I’d crossed the line the day before. The reason God is so strict when it comes to those sins is because they keep you from who you truly are. The figure of Christ is the ideal we should strive toward, with the help of the energies within us. You can only become truly strong once you’ve processed things from your past. And that’s only possible if you allow yourself to feel your anger and grief. Sins keep you from experiencing your anger and grief, but are often meant to suppress these feelings so that you don’t have to acknowledge them. Those who suppress their anger actually become aggressive. And sometimes, when you suppress your grief, you may end up seeking comfort in sex or other addictions.
By confronting these sins, you can eventually get to the grief and anger from which this behavior originated. This is what it means to come to repentance. In this way, you can become a better and stronger person, capable of entering into a long-term commitment with another person.
In this way, I was able to deal with various persistent, recurring sins during this time. Every time I stopped doing something, grief was released, and I became aware of why I did certain things. Once, when I sinned with complete conviction out of sheer stress, something very scary happened, a few days later. I was at my parents’ house. That day, I had accidentally taken too high a dose of antipsychotics (probably not entirely by chance), and a massive trigger occurred as I dozed off on the couch at my parents’ house. I heard my father say a kind of tongue twister, and it sounded like a shivering snake. Whether it was because I was asleep or because this interpretation was truly planted in me by God, I don’t know, but I was absolutely terrified. I stayed calm, said goodbye to my parents, and went home. Some incredibly old fears about shape-shifting reptilians were triggered. I was terrified and immediately wrote an article. But I was able to correct myself afterward, and realized that they were simply frequencies under God’s control, and that God could make the taken over people do anything to create certain illusory impressions. Once I realized that, I calmed down again. But I had no contact with my family for a while, until I overcame my fear again and resumed contact. It was a very anxious period, though.
Something else happened during that time. The consequences of the last time I sinned weren’t over yet, because something else happened one afternoon. I felt something coming into me again. It was a forceful energy, and I felt myself changing. I thought, if this forceful energy inside me now means that I’ve been taken over, then my posts will suddenly start getting pushed out there and seen by people, because that’s what always happens when someone comes under God’s control. I became incredibly afraid of how people would react to my posts. And I decided to take everything offline. The whole jumble of articles in which I’d expressed all my problems: I took it all offline. I even took these three parts, which are a bit more organized, offline. Meanwhile, God commanded me in a dream with a resounding “Just do it!” to put my writings back online, but I refused. I also had a fear of not posting anything, and I had to overcome that as well. And I did that by going straight against God. So I refused to put my texts online, and then, in a dream, I was told that God loved me no matter what, which brought me tremendous relief. Every time I thought about posting my writings online, I felt led by God to keep it offline. There was a huge fear standing in the way: the fear of being seen. I had to overcome that first. I needed to feel that my strength was allowed to exist, because I didn’t have that experience in my life. For at least a year, I focused on fun things. Computers, a handheld gaming device. Linux distros, Windows. I had a blast during that time. And it was literally a sigh of relief after all the difficult things that came my way when my web site was still online.
At some point, I was done experimenting with Windows and Linux and all kinds of equipment. I lost interest again, as was typical for me when I spent a long time on something. I became passive again, and a difficult time began, during which I didn’t really know what to do with myself. Every now and then I still sinned, especially when I was stressed. But afterward, I’d feel so bad, and it would bring me back to a place of grief. The reason I sinned then became clear to me again: my fear that my mother and sister would be devastated if I were my true self, but also past experiences of rejection in love, which all came flooding back, one by one. I worked through it all, and can now increasingly show my self again, although I’m still in a vulnerable state.
The quotes that popped up on Facebook—which always seemed to apply to whatever I was going through at the time, helped me process things immensely. But unfortunately, the quote “Do or die” popped up again, and other quotes convinced me once more that I needed to put myself out there again and get my website back online. When my aunt then broke her leg, the need became even greater, because I just know that this is God’s way of urging me to get my website back online. If I don’t do anything, I think He’ll start eating away at my surroundings bit by bit again. Because that’s the treatment you get when you suppress your agression, as I do. At first, He did that by taking over people, but now we’re at a more advanced stage, and He’s going to do it by taking away the physical lives of people around me. And I really want to prevent that! And sure enough, today I received another notification that an acquaintance had passed away. My mother posted that to me in a private chat. Why not to everyone in the family app? I find it suspicious, and the idea that “taken over” people have actually been taken over by different entities is forcing itself upon me again. Yet I still want to act in love. And that’s why I’ve put my site back online. I’ve seen how a former therapy peer lost both her parents and her brother in a short period of time. This is all about the suppression of aggression and the agressive reaction to it, which was heavily reinforced during the clinical therapy we underwent. But you can influence that by expressing your anger constructively by making works and refusing to accept it! Because anyone who sees all this happening and does nothing, consents to the destructive power of the Antichrist and is tormented (first by taken over people, and later by the deaths of those taken over people) until the energy within begins to flow again. However, for me, the latter can no longer happen without a new energy field, so until that happens, I unfortunately feel like a kind of slave to this system… It’s all about “loving your duty”, I suppose.
